Across the Quidditch Pitch
by Pensieve Plotter
Summary: Marauder's era fic. How Snape’s involvement with the Dark Arts drove Lily away. Find out what Mulciber tried to do to Mary Macdonald. Dumbledore, Voldemort, Avery, Lucius, Abraxas, Slughorn, Mcgonagall, James, Remus, Peter, Sirius and Regulus also debut.
1. Prologue: Quidditch Practice

ACROSS THE QUIDDITCH PITCH

**Author's Note: This a short story on how I believe Snape's friendship with Mulciber and love of the Dark Arts drove Lily away. Find out what Mulciber tried to do to Mary Macdonald and how Dumbledore will react. Avery, Voldemort, Slughorn, Mcgonagall, James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius and even Lucius Malfoy and Regulus Black also have roles.**

**WALK AWAY FROM THE SUN**

"Walk away from the sun, come slowly undone  
I can see in your eyes I've already won  
I could bleed for a smile, I could cry for some fun  
Walk away from the sun, and tell everyone

There's so much left in the air  
So much to tell from a stare  
There's so much left to defend  
But I am no fun

So turn away from the ones who hurt everyone  
I can tell by your smile you're coming undone  
I could bleed for a smile; could die for a gun  
Walk away from the sun and kill everyone

So tiny dancer beware, we're medicated and scared  
This smile is so hard to wear, but I have no gun

So turn away from the ones who hurt everyone  
I can tell by your smile you're coming undone  
I could bleed for a smile; could die for a gun  
Walk away from the sun and kill everyone

And you're fading with every day  
(You could've been the next one, should've been enough for me)  
You're fading with every day  
(You could've been the next one, should've been enough for me)  
You're fading with every day  
(You could've been the next one, should've been enough for me)  
And you're fading with every day... whoa

There's so much left in the air  
So much to tell from your stare  
There's so much left to defend  
But I am no fun"

_"Walk Away from the Sun"_ by Seether

**ACROSS THE QUIDDITCH PITCH**

_"'….Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?...'_

'That was nothing,' said Snape. "It was a laugh, that's all-'

'It was dark magic and if you think that's funny…'"

- _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_, P. 673 U.S. Ed.

**Please review!**

Prologue: Quidditch Practice

Two boys sat alone together way up on benches in the stands of the Hogwart's Quidditch field. It was an unusually warm and sunny bright day for April. Usually it was rainy or at least cloudy every day in the month of April in Scotland's Highlands. The grounds were still soaked from yesterday's rainstorm, the pure scent of fresh rainwater exuded up from the soil.

Gryffindors had obviously decided to take advantage of the warm weather and the hiatus in the rainfall, and so were out for an extra Quidditch practice. They had an upcoming match against the Slytherins and were determined to win, especially because if they won by a wide enough margin, it would put the cup in Gryffndor's favour.

The two boys sitting in the back of the stands were both in fifth year. They had come to watch the practice with the rest of the group of Slytherins. The purpose was, of course to wish as much bad luck to the team as possible. Both boys had prefect badges on their plain black robes; the badges were gleaming tenuously in the sunlight.

"Look at this Sev," said the brawnier boy of the two.

Sixteen-year-old Severus Snape leaned in a bit closer to get a closer look at the book his friend held in his lap. Unlike his friend, Mulciber, Snape was thin and pale in complexion, bordering on sallow especially in the sun. Snape was still youthful but his features were sharp and angular, and he looked rather gangly, like he'd just shot up several inches recently. He was not exactly an attractive young man.

But neither was Mulciber very handsome either. Mulciber was now sniggering churlishly. A couple of Slytherins turned around and frowned at the pair. But they didn't say anything. It was already obvious the two had a cordial, if not intimate friendship, and the other Slytherins did not want to be bothered. They'd rather poke fun at the Gryffindors.

Mulciber's eyes slanted as he read closely from the book, in which there were several drawings and moving, magical photographs. The pictures depicted mostly women in all types of suggestive and degrading poses. Judging from their faces, they looked to be in terrible pain.

Mulciber glanced up suddenly, as if remembering something. "Hey – where did Avery go?"

"Didn't I tell you? He got Saturday detention with our Head of House."

"Why?"

"Nothing serious," said Snape, yet he sounded semi-sarcastic. "It's just he refused to make up his potions lab on time, AND he refused to finish Flitwick's essay. Twice. I don't blame Slughorn, the poor bloke had to put his foot down."

"Yeah, Snape, you almost never get detention," noted Mulciber.

"I wasn't about to give in and do Avery's workload. He had it coming to him! He's a rule-breaker. He's got to start towing the line like the rest of us." Mulciber laughed at this. He certainly didn't consider himself to be within the confines of the rules and neither were his two friends.

Mulciber's features – although just like Snape's in that they were not exactly attractive were still starkly the opposite to his. While Snape was pale and almost delicate in frame, Mulciber was heavier and with ruddy skin.

Snape was staring at the drawings too with his own kind of fascination. He flipped a page over to read some more on the theories surrounding the Dark Magic involved. And Mulciber suddenly looked up from his book and stared intently across the Quidditch field.

Gryffindors in their fiery red robes were still practicing. All of them were on brooms high in the air. Snape looked up to see what his associate was watching so closely and then nodded to himself. Of course. It had become Mulciber's obsession over the last two weeks.

But he wasn't as interested in that as he always feigned to be with his friend. Rather his black eyes drifted below to the ground. There was a jealous, resentful look on Snape's face now. He could see beautiful Lily Evans, currently hanging out with Remus and Peter. Snape sneered to himself to watch Peter, clapping his hands jovially as James Potter caught the Snitch for the first time today.

"Why couldn't she have come sit with us?" Snape mused. But he meant to ruminate to himself.

"What was that, Severus?" asked Mulciber, in his usual hoarse voice. And Mulciber forced his eyes away from the object of his current obsession.

"Lily…" said Snape faintly, with the slightest trace of regret.

"Forget about the Mudblood! She's worthless…Especially for us. And you do know why," said Mulciber darkly, and it wasn't a question. For in their minds it was almost a certainty for their futures.

There was a sparkle in Snape's eyes, and a pronounced gleam. "Because we're going to be joining the Dark Lord," he said importantly. Although, deep down Snape felt a twinge of despair at this thought, especially if it would mean leaving her forever.

"Too right we are. So that means Evans is dung. From what we've seen in the Prophet it's obvious the Death Eaters get all the muggles and mudbloods they want! Imagine an endless supply of victims to torture!" Although Mulciber spoke loudly it was fortunate that there was too much chattering going on in the crowd. Mulciber and Snape were nearly impossible to overhear and what was more, they knew it. Their friendship had consisted of many, many private conversations in plain sight and nobody had ever suspected. Except for one. The headmaster. Dumbledore seemed to have an idea of what their friendship was like.

And Mulciber went back to staring into the distance. Snape glanced briefly, following his friend's gaze – there was Mary Macdonald, a fairly attractive brunette haired girl who happened to be a chaser on the Gryffindor team. She was in the same year as Snape and not yet sixteen.

"I'm going to have her," announced Mulciber suddenly. It was of course what he'd been obsessing over, this girl.

Snape nodded dully in assent.

And Mulciber grunted harshly, "I'm going to hurt her!"

Snape admitted, "She's only Halfblood like me. She's not from a Pureblood family,"

"So what? I don't care. Just as long as the bitch isn't Mudblood. That's all that matters. She'll be my first. I'm fine with that and I know just the place to corner her…"

Snape pondered this thought pensively for a moment. He seemed to be thinking it over some more.

"You're going to use the Imperius Curse right?"

"Uh-huh," said Mulciber distractedly. He'd gone back to eyeing Mary Macdonald again.

He watched her sail over to a handsome boy on his broomstick that also played as a chaser for Gryffindor like Mary. Mulciber couldn't hear what she was saying, but he saw her smile widely and her eyes seemed to dazzle when she looked at that boy. She shook her long mane of golden-brown hair and then brushed through it, unconsciously with her fingers.

Mulciber leaned in closer, watching with a fervor. His imagination took over in that instance. He couldn't wait to control her. Maybe he'd tie her wrists and then he'd pull her hair until it ripped her scalp. And Sirius Black was popular no doubt. Mulciber figured the only reason that someone like Macdonald would want him was because he was Pureblood.

And then Snape was watching with a mutinous look on his face. He felt a stab of jealously at James Potter as he sailed almost effortlessly across the Quidditch pitch on his perfect broom, with his perfect hair, and perfect everything. He went over to Mary and Sirius and said something that was unintelligible for Mulciber and Snape to hear from such a distance.

But the Quaffle was suddenly rushing towards Sirius. Sirius caught it and whooshed away to practice scoring.

But Mary remained motionless in the air with James at her side now. Snape watched as James threw his head back, obviously he was laughing at something that Mary just said. 'Git,' thought Snape simply, a surge of malevolence rising in his chest.

And then James was looking away from Mary, over at the other end of the field, towards the back of his friend Sirius. And James's head turned again to look back at Mary. There was a slightly calculating look and his green eyes looked unusually shrewd.

Snape's keen intuition picked right up on it. "You know I think Mary wants to go out with Sirius Black! And what's more Potter knows. His best mate knows!"

"Yeah, I've noticed. But I could care less. Once I ruin Macdonald, Black will never want her!" said Mulciber almost happily.

And then Mary was racing away on her broom to go and catch the Quaffle. Sirius turned abruptly, swerving on his broom to let her get it instead of himself. Mary felt Sirius's laughing, kind eyes on her and she stopped short. The Quaffle had just gotten into her grasp when it slipped through her fingers as effortlessly as if through water.

She had dropped the Quaffle, despite catching it a second ago. She had lost her concentration when she saw Sirius was looking at her. An uproar of tumultuous jeers broke from the Slytherins.

"Stupid bitch…Stupid, stupid ugly little bitch," said Mulciber with hatred. "She's so horny for Black…But he's already had plenty of girlfriends. He'll never want her."

Snape didn't answer, but just listened. That was what he was usually resigned to doing with Mulciber. At least for the time when Snape wasn't helping Mulciber with his homework, or offering his insights onto their next nasty prank or displaying his extensive knowledge of the Dark Arts.

Mulciber suddenly elbowed Snape in the ribs. "Hey…Do you think she's ever sucked anyone's cock? I bet those fat lips of hers will be great for it!"

"Yeah…" muttered Snape, half-heartedly. The truth of the matter was, since Lily had decided not to be with him, as usual, he'd rather not be here at all. Snape's thoughts receded back to the castle and he imagined himself holed up in the library studying for his O.W.L.s. That's what he should be doing today, not watching his friend ogle over a silly girl.

And Snape brought up, wrenching it from himself for what felt like the tenth time today, "You know…I hope this works."

"Of course it will!" said Mulciber, with a hint of anger. "Besides Severus – you're the one who came up with all the planning and scheming. The mastermind behind it all, as you always are. I've yet to see any of your plots fail."

"It won't…But I still have a bad feeling about this, Mulciber. We could get into serious trouble...It's one of the Unforgivables! If the ministry finds out we'll be serving terms in Azkaban before we ever serve as Death Eaters."

"Oh, will you stop being such a worrywart!" snarled Mulciber. "It's going to be fun."

For the rest of the hour Snape and Mulciber spent their time riffing through the heavy tome in Mulciber's lap. It was a pornographic book called, 'A Compendium of the Dark Arts.' At the same time, Mulciber told Snape all sorts of nasty jokes he'd created. All of them centered on Mary as the brunt of them.

Snape did find them funny and he joined in with his own sneering laughter. He genuinely enjoyed Mulciber's evil humour as his was similar at times.

The practice was now over. People were milling about the field and talking excitedly to the Gryffindor players about next Saturday's match. And the Slytherins were turning to leave.

Professor Mcgonagall had overseen the practice as a referee. But mainly she was there to prevent the Slytherins and the Gryffindors from getting into a row. She tipped her wand to her throat and her voice boomed over that of the others' from her Sonorous Charm, "Practice is over. Team: go and hit the changing rooms! The rest of you: clear out! After that we'll talk strategy privately."

Mulciber and Snape were coming out of the stands. Mulciber hopped over the benches and jumped with a sure gait. Snape merely followed at a swift pace, down an aisle to the bottom.

Stepping out onto the field, Mulciber saw Mary Macdonald mingling with Sirius and the rest of the Marauders surrounded by Lily and her many friends and admirers.

But the girl was clearly perceptive. She could feel Mulciber's eyes on her and his almost unnatural, unhealthy interest in her. She frowned deeply. For why would she want Mulciber to notice her? Her best girlfriend, Lily thought of him as a creep. And what Lily believed, Mary believed.

She continued to frown at him. Mulciber actually smiled toothily at her, and with the hood currently covering his head, he made a graceful gesture, like he was tipping his hat at her. He was acting like he was a lady's man and he felt amused by flirting with her. He thought he was giving the whore false hopes. When all he wanted was to fuck her.

Mary frowned and turned her back on the boy and ignored him. She didn't want to waste her time on thoughts of Mulciber – she'd rather just forget about him and go back to contemplating if she should take the initiative and ask Sirius on a date herself.

**Note: Please review. I'm worried that I didn't do a good enough job. Please tell me if this story is interesting to you. A lot more is going to happen.**


	2. The Dark Act

**Note: Please review!**

Chapter One: The Dark Act

Snape and Mulciber slyly glanced at each from the sidelines and both nodded at once. It was a sign of their mutual agreement to proceed.

Snape inched his wand out of the corner of his robes and cast the most powerful Disillusionment charm he was capable of and Mulciber did likewise.

Just then there was a loud clap of thunder. The sky was darkening and then water drops were pouring onto the Quidditch pitch. Despite being invisible, it did not stop the boys from being solid. Within a second they were drenched in the downpour.

They barely gave one glance at Mcgonagall. She was stooped on the ground, busy locking up all the balls from the practice. It was these few crucial seconds they needed.

Snape ran behind his friend who happened to be much faster than him. The rain had moistened his skin and he felt his hands going clammy from the excitement of what was to come. Beads of sweat slid down his back from under his robes. He was nervous.

As he ran he looked over his shoulder. Professor Mcgonagall had finished putting the balls in their respective compartments. She was facing them, but Snape knew that from such a distance and in this weather, the two of them would be no more than shadows.

They stepped into the back door of the girl's changing rooms. Mary happened to be the only female on the team, which made it even easier for Mulciber to target her.

Snape paused and glanced at an ajar locker door. In it held Mary's red robed Quidditch uniform, a hairbrush, makeup and a mirror. Mulciber paid it no mind, except as confirmation that she was in the shower.

And water could be heard running from several stalls ahead. Mulciber followed them, until the two crowded into an unoccupied stall across from where Mary must be bathing.

"Almost, ready to get the bitch," whispered Mulciber. And Mulciber was grasping his wand very tightly, his face looked strained from nerves. It was clear that he was not as confident about the deed as expected. Partially Mulciber had doubts that he could cast an Unforgivable, and then he wasn't sure he could follow through on the actual act either.

Mulciber lingered, and chose instead to listen to the water running and Mary singing a Celestina Warbeck favourite. Snape rolled his eyes. Her voice was neither sweet nor horrible but it did disgust him.

"Ohhhh…Come…and stir my cauldron,  
And if you do it right,  
I'll boil you up some hot, strong love  
To keep you warm tonight."

Finally after a moment of listening to Mary repeat the stanza above, Severus shoved his friend. "Come on…You're losing your chance."

Mulciber nodded, but didn't look at his friend. Without warning he plunged forward and without thinking he ripped the shower curtain off.

Mary's gay singing was stopped by her instinctive scream. But Mulciber wasn't dumb. He concentrated with all his might and Mary's scream was abruptly silenced through a spell.

Snape watched with quiet fascination through a gap in between the curtains at the stall, just opposite Mary's.

"Imperio! Imperio!" thought Mulciber inside his head. He watched Mary's face change from fright to startling passivity. She was ready to submit to him!

"Get your hands on the floor slut," he grunted at her.

And Mary almost at once complied. She placed her hands on the dingy tiles full of mold. They hadn't been cleaned in awhile.

Snape watched, his mouth hanging open stupidly. Here was the girl, her whole ass on display right in front of him. It aroused Severus and his eyes dilated. He wondered if Lily would ever let him do that to her, if they were closer, maybe she would.

But Mulciber wasn't even looking at Snape. He unzipped his pants and wrenched his robes up.

He positioned himself, aligning his cock directly at the girl's anus. He was about to start when he heard footsteps coming rapidly towards him. Mulciber turned so fast he cricked his neck. And suddenly Mcgonagall with alarming speed was standing there.

"My goodness! What in the name of Merlin!" she said. Mulciber quaked and backed himself against the wall, holding his hands up as if he never meant to touch the girl.

But Mcgonagall was no fool. In a split second she looked from Mary still positioned the way Muciber ordered her into, and Mulciber's body. Her face blazed with anger and she shrilled righteously, "Impedimenta!"

Mulciber's frame was now as inert as Mary's from the jinx that froze him. Mcgonagall with another flick of her wand turned off the showerhead.

Snape was watching, one black eye still peeking out of the folds. He saw Mcgonagall gasp and then watched her run out of the changing room shouting frantically, "Somebody help! We have a hurt girl in the changing room."

Snape was full of fear. He didn't want to be caught. His face was paler than ever. So far he hadn't been seen and he trusted his friend not to rat him out.

Still under the Disillusionment charm he skidded out of the shower stall. In a frenzy he sprinted out the back door, not even remembering to close it. Nobody would see him. Like a coward he ran and didn't stop until he got all the way to the school's front steps.

Simultaneously, Mcgonagall emerged out the front door of the small building. All four of the Marauders were still present with nobody else. James had just changed out of his playing gear and was absentmindedly charming his glasses to repel the raindrops.

James looked up at Mcgonagall, looking only slightly startled, but otherwise unperturbed.

"What?" yelped James disbelieving the news.

"A girl is seriously hurt!" screamed Mcgonagall. "You wait here while I get her. You will take her to the hospital wing!"

Sirius was watching Mcgonagall closely and a crease in his forehead formed from worry. "Who is it?"

"Mary Macdonald!"

"Professor – why don't you let us go inside to help?" said Remus calmly.

"Stay back! I'll be out in a moment."

And with that, Mcgonagall was running back inside the girl's locker and changing rooms. She didn't want those boys to see the horror of what had transpired. It might take away whatever bit of innocence they still had.

She came back into the showers and was relieved to see Mary's assailant, remaining immobilized. Mcgonagall raised her wand and a stretcher was transfigured into existence.

With a wave of her wand, Mary was eerily maneuvered onto the stretcher. She was still naked.

She ran back into the locker room and found a pile of white towels. As if wrapping a baby in them she swaddled Mary, until she was tightly wrapped in them, almost like a mummy.

She wheeled the stretcher back outside and didn't have to go far to find James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter waiting anxiously. Still under Mulciber's silencing charm, Mary couldn't make a sound.

"What's the matter with her?" stammered Peter and he stared at Mary.

"She's ill," said Mcgonagall icily. Peter seemed to take this literally, but the other three boys looked unconvinced.

"Now do as I say – Off to the hospital wing with her!"

"Yes, professor," said Remus. The three other boys followed Remus as they helped haul the stretcher back up to the castle with Mary on it.

Mcgonagall watched them for a moment, as they made their way up the steep hill as cautiously as possible. Then she turned to go inside and get the awful boy who had done this.

Mulciber was still sentient from the jinx. He stared blankly at Mcgonagall when she returned. And then he was unfrozen on the spot, once Mcgonagall did the counter spell to release the jinx's hold on his body.

He rose slowly from the wet floor and leaned against the wall, doing his best not to look at the teacher.

Mcgonagall wasn't afraid. She put her hands on Mulciber's broad shoulders and demanded, "Explain yourself! What were you going to do to her?"

"Well, I-," said Mulciber. It sounded as if he was thinking of a rational explanation.

"What was going on inside that thick, twisted head of yours Mulciber?"

"The – the Imperius Curse-"

"You actually cast an Unforgivable onto her?"

Mulciber nodded firmly. Yet he did not look ashamed. In fact there appeared to be a hint of pride on his brutal features.

"Ugh…I see. I see…" said Mcgonagall. The awful image of the boy with his pants down and pressing himself against the girl still weighed on her mind. The blood seemed to drain from her head. She was stricken with horror.

"And you were going to go further than just the Imperius weren't you?" and yet it was a question she didn't need to hear the answer to. She already knew. "Out! Come with me. We're going straight to Dumbledore!"

Mulciber followed her out and into the rainy day. He briefly thought of his friend Severus, away from the magnitude of the trouble he was in. Yet he couldn't find the words to mention him.

Mcgonagall marched ahead of Mulciber and wouldn't even look at him. It shocked and appalled her most of all, and quite frankly she found she was speechless over the incident that the boy had nearly followed through on.

**Note: Please review! I know the writing isn't that great, I'm trying though. I haven't gotten one review, please? At least a rating? It's also a fact that Mulciber specialized in the Imperius Curse and we know he did something involving the Dark Arts to Mary in Snape's Fifth year. So this makes sense.**


	3. Impending Punishment

Please review! I know it's been awhile, but I had to forgo any writing for the holidays. But now I'm back with an unusual fervor to write.

Chapter Three: The Impending Punishment

Mcgonagall would not even look at Mulciber. They made it to the courtyards where just beyond led to the headmaster's study way up on the seventh floor. They crossed the many alcoves of the outdoor courtyard, where luckily the few students present did not think anything was amiss. The older students were studying for their exams and it was just the younger ones anyway, too intent upon their silly antics which were much more innocent than what Mulciber had been up to.

But this did not stop Mcgonagall. She saw two boys knocking gobstones and cracking them against the ancient stone walls.

"Five points from Slytherin Mr. Dosset and five points from Gryffindor Mr. Lynch!"

The two boys stopped at once and stared at Mcgonagall's huffing frame going past them. Even they could feel the foul mood emanating from her. Mulciber was in his typical gait, prowling ahead. The tip of Mcgonagall's wand was visible at the nape of his neck from behind, where it poked out of Mcgonagall's sleeve. Mcgonagall was too disgusted to lay so much as a finger on him. She'd leave that to Dumbledore and hopefully it would be considerably more than a trifle finger!

It seemed this had attracted the students. They were now whispering amongst themselves, hands covering their mouths, as they eyed Mulciber and Mcgonagall with that distinctive air of human curiosity.

"You horrible, despicable young man. I hope the headmaster gives you a good addressing down!" she said once they got inside the castle. Nobody had heard this.

Mulciber did not answer, but simply shifted his eyes away from her. They had taken the quickest route from the Quidditch pitch to the castle, specifically for the entrance nearest Dumbledore's quarters.

"Giant Pygmy Puff!" screeched Mcgonagall at the end of the empty corridor.

"Correct, professor," answered the right gargoyle that noted the password was indeed the right one. Through magic the large door opened and the staircase was revealed. Mulciber and Mcgonagall took it.

All too soon they were before the bronze griffin knocker. It already seemed to be gleaming with fire, like a raging inferno. Yet Mulciber was not one to notice ominous details. Yet nevertheless, he felt a surge of dread resonate in his core. He had never been to see Dumbledore for such a serious reason as this. He wondered if he had gone too far this time. But even though there was this trepidation it did not show on his exterior.

"Please come in," said the old wizard heartily. He sounded mirthful and full of good cheer. Most fortuitously they had caught the headmaster in a good mood. Mulciber felt a growing hope that maybe he wouldn't be expelled and thrown in a cell afterall. He certainly did not want this for himself even if he knew it happened to the many supporters of Voldemort's whose plans went awry. The goal had been not to get caught. 'If only Snape had come up with a better plan…' thought Mulciber, actually blaming his friend.

It was Mcgonagall who opened the door and marched inside. The whirring of many silver instruments could be heard and the portraits leaned over their frames to see who was visiting. They watched with reserved detachment. It didn't look too exciting to chime in. Not yet at least.

Dumbledore looked up from a huge volume he had been glazing over at his desk. He pushed his half-moon spectacles onto his crooked nose and forced his face not to turn crestfallen and sour when he saw who was accompanying his colleague.

He looked to her first and barely got to question through asking, "Minerva, what is the matter?" Immediately Mcgonagall reacted, going off into a tirade, full of zeal regarding the detested act she witnessed Mulciber attempt.

"This student tried to…attack another student in the shower stalls! I caught him at it professor. Words cannot describe the unspeakable act he was about to perform on her…and I believe it was with the Imperius Curse!"

Instantly whatever good mood Dumbledore had been in before was dispelled. Mulciber and Mcgonagall could actually feel Dumbledore's anger bristle. There was an odd fluctuation in the room, as if a dissonant musical chord rang out sharply. Dumbledore abruptly rose from his stately chair.

For the first time since entering the headmaster's chamber Mulciber's fear became obvious. He flinched and forced his eyes away from the headmaster's gaze. Those sparkling blue eyes had always haunted him, unlike the majority who found them to be kind. But kindness was not something Mulciber was familiar with.

"To whom? Whom did you see this boy attack?" spoke Dumbledore finally in an unusually curt voice for him. And Dumbledore glanced at Mulciber coldly but then looked away.

"Mary Macdonald. I heard a brief scream from the girls' changing after my Gryffindors' practice. I ran in and found – and found. It was a horrific sight, Dumbledore! Mary sprawled on the shower floor-"

"It is not necessary for you to elaborate," interrupted Dumbledore sharply. "I see what you cannot see. I believe I see exactly how it was so…" said Dumbledore faintly. And indeed Dumbledore could through his Legilimency powers.

Dumbledore did not speak for a moment. He was thinking his own private thoughts. Of all the sins of human nature he abhorred rape right next to murder as the top atrocity. His own sister, Ariana had been raped by muggles when Albus was just a boy of eleven! The whole event had left an indelible mark on his childhood not to mention Ariana's.

Finally Dumbledore spoke softly, but there was still a dangerous edge in his demeanour. "Is this true boy?"

Mulciber gave the barest of nods.

Dumbledore went onward, "You placed an Imperius Curse upon Mary Macdonald, however briefly it was and then proceeded to…harm her further?"

Mulciber merely nodded again. But then balked under pressure and looking for a rational explanation and also a way to lessen the act he attempted he said awkwardly, "It was only something muggles can do, sir. Not – not really Dark Magic, only I wanted – n-needed to use the Imperius Curse-"

Dumbledore's eyes flickered to fury immediately at these words. "No. What disturbs me, Mr. Mulciber is the failure in your character as a Hogwarts student. That is much more disturbing then your inner turmoil at failing in your vile scheme to harm Ms. Macdonald. Might I add your intentions were not only perverse but evil."

Mulciber hardly reacted. Yet he could not disagree with Dumbledore more. Not evil to him. Justified more like it in his mind. But he dared not divulge that to the headmaster.

Mcgonagall, hands in her fists at her own anger loudly demanded, "He should be getting a term in Azkaban for this. But of course that won't be the reality thanks to your usual leniency, Albus. A thrashing should be in store to say the least! So how are you going to punish him Dumbledore?!"

Dumbledore glanced away from Mcgonagall and back at Mulciber. He smiled. But it was more a leering grin. It was very rare to see from Dumbledore, only reserved for those possessing of characters he disapproved of. And Mulciber happened to be someone he genuinely disliked. "That is to be between myself and Mr. Mulciber. But I assure you, Minerva…It shall be severe."

Mcgonagall seemed to calm down at these words. She merely nodded, her lips still set in that grim line it was always in when exceptionally irate.

"So, Minerva-"

"Yes. Good day Dumbledore," she bade farewell curtly. With one last glare to Mulciber she turned on her heel.

Dumbledore took a sudden step closer and called after her, "And please, Minerva…I know you pity the poor girl, but don't take the initiative. When I get along to the hospital wing later today, I can decide if her memory of the event need be modified. For it appears unclear if she fully comprehends what occurred." At these words regarding Mary's possibly being oblivious to her molestation and attempted rape Mulciber guffawed, it was both funny and being less perceptive, an unexpected possibility for him. Dumbledore heard it and resisted reacting, choosing to just ignore it instead.

"Yes. I'll gladly leave that decision up to you," answered Mcgonagall. And with that, she swept out the door.

The silence inside the room was strong, especially now that the great wizard was bestowing his full attention onto the boy. Inside his mind Dumbledore made a brief summation of the 'dark trio.' For he knew Mulciber had a great influence on and sense of identity with his two best mates: Avery and Snape. Mulciber was a ruthless tenacious young fellow. He would, despite being less than pure make a great Death Eater. Avery was from a noble Pureblood family and yet despite that was clearly nothing more than a follower, and Dumbledore felt sure this tendency would compute to Avery being an ideal slave to the Dark Lord. And Snape was something of an enigma, even Dumbledore wasn't sure he understood. Alone and scared, as an entering student, Snape had found the only two peers that accepted him and understood his passion for the Dark Arts. Yes. It could be understandable as to why the Halfblooded Snape would want to associate with Mulciber and his sidekick Avery.

But Dumbledore merely gazed at Mulciber for an inexorable moment, marshaling his thoughts on the many things he might say. Finally he spoke his voice surprisingly calm. "Before we discuss your acts and the consequences they will entail, is there anything you need to tell Mr. Mulciber?"

Mulciber hesitated for a long moment, biding his time. For he'd been punished by Dumbledore on several occasions. It had always been painful and he'd like to avoid what he suspected was coming to him for as long as possible.

Dumbledore continued to wait with a look of grave expectancy on his face. Mulciber continued to refuse to answer. Finally Dumbledore resorted to asking testily, trying one last time to prompt him to admit there was a witness, "Well?…Is there anything on your mind you feel you need to tell, or even perhaps there is something you would like to share with me?"

Finally Mulciber answered with a blank, "No, professor."

"Very well…" But Dumbledore already knew what was on Mulciber's mind, especially as the boy was no budding Occlumens. He had seen that another student had been heavily involved and in fact a witness to the entire ordeal in the shower stall across from where Mary and her assailant had been! Dumbledore did indeed find it odd that the boy was choosing not to share his friend's involvement with it.

"Then tomorrow…When I am in a clearer frame of mind and not as terribly angered as I am right now…I shall discuss and mete out your punishments. I should hope that this adds the additional discomfort of having to anticipate it," and Dumbledore and he smiled almost kindly again.

Mulciber felt himself blanch a bit from nerves. He needed to know what was coming to him. "I-I suppose you're going to cane me sir?" he said almost politely.

Dumbledore barely nodded. It looked to be the affirmative.

"Yes, caning and ample detentions will certainly be part of it. However…"

Mulciber gulped. How could there possibly be more than caning and detentions?

And Dumbledore went off on a whole new tangent. 'Mr. Mulciber…Have I not given you enough power already as a prefect? I find it almost disgusting that you felt the need to dominate another individual further. I have half a mind to demote you from your status as a Slytherin Prefect."

Mulciber's head snapped. "But headmaster-," he said with alarm.

Dumbledore held up a large hand with long pointed fingernails. "But I will not. For I am well aware of your ambitions, boy. I am sure you will be granted some power in the future when you leave this place. However, as I was getting to before you interrupted, I am taking another action."

"W-what?" Inside Mulciber secretly feared he would be put on trial or even worse, serve a term in Azkaban.

"No. It is not what you are thinking," said Dumbledore impatiently, waving his hand away. "I shall be writing a negative reference to the ministry, which will thus restrict your employment. Therefore your punishments shall not primarily be my impending physical chastisement Mr. Mulciber…Is this clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good…Then kindly leave my office until tomorrow evening at seven where I shall mete out the physical component."

Mulciber's broad shoulders sagged with evident relief. He was not expelled and nor was he going on trial or straight to prison. And thank Merlin he wasn't receiving the worst possible fate, the Dementor's Kiss! He turned his back on Dumbledore to depart.

"Oh and Mr. Mulciber?"

"Yes, sir?"

"A warning to you…You shall not speak of any of this to anyone…Unless it's one who knows of all the facts like Professor Mcgonagall. And also your head of house, Professor Slughorn shall be informed, I am sure he will desire speak of this to you…But anyone else is out of the question. That is an order, Mr. Mulciber…Do you understand?"

"Yes, headmaster," Mulciber said through gritted teeth, feeling irritated. He had so wanted to brag about Imperiusing and trying to rape that stupid slut!

Dumbledore finished with the cold ominous note ringing in his office, which made him sound almost like Voldemort in his omniscience "If you do so, I shall know."

Mulciber didn't answer but stalked out of the study with his usual proud, swaggering gait. But when Mulciber finally descended the staircase, finally free, he felt a shiver resonate in him. Mulciber had the strangest feeling the old man somehow knew everything that went on. He knew he was planning on joining the Dark Lord, he even knew that Snape was involved.

NOTE: Please review! Once Snape and Lily gets in the story more it will be much more interesting. Mulciber's side is not the reason for writing, but this is necessary to show.


	4. The Hospital Wing

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Chapter Four: The Hospital Wing

Minerva Mcgonagall swept into the hospital wing, and saw the thin frame of Mary Macdonald wrapped in a warm blanket. Her friends surrounded her bedside: Lily Evans, Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin and then there was Peter Pettigrew.

Mary sat up straight and smiled at her teacher.

"Good heavens dear? Are you alright Mary?"

"Yes, professor," she said cheerily.

Mcgonagall glared and looked askance at the four boys. She had ordered them to take the then unconscious Mary to the hospital wing. Now she demanded an explanation.

Lupin seemed to be the quickest to interpret Mcgonagall's confusion. "Madam Pomfrey gave her a calming drought, professor. It was done as soon as we got her in here."

"Oh…" said Mcgonagall. But she was still flustered. She clutched her chest convulsively; remembering the sight of Mary sprawled on the shower floor. Tears that didn't fall wedged into the corners of Mcgonagall's eyes. "I trust she arrived here alright?"

James answered reluctantly, "Well…no. Not really."

"What do you mean by 'not really'?"

Sirius answered, "The Silencing charm you put onto Mary broke, professor. Tons of people heard her screams, and some of them even watched us wheel her into the hospital wing." Sirius looked hard at Mcgonagall. He had spoken this in a pained voice. And now Sirius glanced down at the nonchalant, almost happy face of Mary with regret. His jaw was set and his eyes were hard, the mirth they usually exuded gone.

James smiled at his friend Sirius and looked back to their teacher. "It was much harder to silence a girl…Than silencing a raven or a bull-frog in Transfiguration!"

Lupin broke into a smile and Peter chortled stupidly. Sirius couldn't help but laugh along with James. The only one in the room who wasn't amused was Mcgonagall.

"You boys and you too, Ms. Evans….You must not repeat any of the facts of what happened today. Hogwarts doesn't need to create rumours or even know the truth. For it could befoul Ms. Macdonald's reputation…Among other's. Am I quite clear?"

They all nodded at her.

"Very well…Let's treat it like it's over and done with," she concluded. And Mcgonagall looked down at Mary not unkindly.

"Mary…" she offered in a voice that was unusually soft.

"Yes, professor?" the girl said innocently, her wide blue eyes shining anxiously.

"Do you remember who did this to you?"

"I do. It was Mulciber. What a prat! He performed the Imperius Curse on me! Merlin only knows what he was going to do next….But I think he was only getting his kicks out of using the spell."

Mcgonagall raised an eyebrow. It was clear Mary did not know he attempted to rape her. And that made sense, as the girl hadn't actually seen the boy make the moves on her, as all of it happened from behind her view.

"Yes, that was probably true," lied Mcgonagall convincingly. She suddenly noticed the friends around her bedside were watching closely.

All but Peter Pettigrew looked suspicious.

"Has Madam Pomfrey offered you the visiting hours timeframe?"

Lily spoke resolutely, "Professor, we're staying with Mary until she leaves. Madam Pomfrey says she should be fine to go later this evening."

And Sirius added protectively, "And we're certainly not leaving her to walk alone! We'll accompany her to the Common room!"

"Of course. Well good day," said Mcgonagall curtly. She walked alone out of the hospital wing.

Now that the teacher was gone everyone settled in comfortably around Mary's bedside. Sirius and James dragged a few chairs from the other end. For a minute nobody spoke.

Sirius kicked his heels up on the footboard of the bed and lit a cigarette.

Lily regarded him with a frown. They all knew she didn't approve of the habit. "Well I guess it's alright, as long as Madam Pomfrey doesn't see you…" she conceded.

But somebody else entered the room. The chairs creaked as they turned their heads and swiveled in their seats. They saw that it was Professor Dumbledore. All four boys and Lily rose at once, in respectful recognition of the headmaster.

But Dumbledore wasn't watching the others. His eyes fell onto Mary curiously. He was already performing Legilimency to surmise just how much Mary knew.

"I offer my deepest condolences that this had to happen to you, Ms. Macdonald," he said with both pity and sincerity after a moment.

Mary said, "I'm fine, sir. It was nothing. Really!"

Sirius frowned darkly, at Mary's proclamation it was nothing. He was terribly angered by it and was even starting to suspect the worst. He looked back at Dumbledore, still holding a lit cigarette. "You do know that it was Mulciber who tried to hurt her, professor?"

"Yes. I have spoken with him already," he answered calmly. Dumbledore could see that maybe Mary didn't need her memory modified. For clearly, the girl had never discovered what her assailant had intended.

Sirius went off into an explosive tirade, "Well I hope he'll be expelled! Or at least punished for this-"

"I have already decided on Mr. Mulciber's fate. And whatever I did decide for him, it is not of your concern. Furthermore, I forbade Mr. Mulciber to speak of the incident…"

"Well. I'm glad you've taken care of him," Sirius huffed, suppressing the full extent of his fury. He crossed his arms.

"Yes," said Dumbledore almost tranquilly. "And to be fair, just as I have told Mulciber to speak of this to nobody. I am asking all of you not to confront Mr. Mulciber. He does not need to be threatened."

There were many irritable sighs and withheld retorts to this request. But finally Mary's friend and the Marauders obeyed.

With a flurry of activity, Madam Pomfrey entered the scene. Immediately she admonished Sirius, "How dare you smoke in front of the headmaster, boy! Remove that cigarette at once!"

Sirius jumped as though scalded. He glanced at Dumbledore.

"No. No. I am quite fine with that," said Dumbledore. "The boy may smoke if he so chooses to. Even in front of me."

Sirius smiled and took another puff of his cigarette. It was quite ironic that Sirius was being permitted to smoke. In 1970s Britain, a muggle school would treat it as a serious offense, one that usually constituted a caning.

"I suppose, I'll find you as healthy and happy as you right now in the Great Hall tomorrow?" said Dumbledore.

"Yes, I think she'll be well enough to leave later this evening," said Madam Pomfrey.

Mary nodded at Dumbledore and he turned to leave.

A little while later, the others left to go to dinner, in which they promised Mary they'd come back right after.

The Marauders went down the corridor that led away from the Hospital Wing. Lily went the other way, saying she needed the loo before dinner.

James was looking at Sirius mischievously, a knowing grin on his face. "Admit it Sirius! You've got a thing for Macdonald. It was so obvious back there!"

"I do not," said Sirius through his teeth. "Alright – maybe I do," he admitted.

James laughed. "Why not ask her out?"

Sirius jumped suddenly, and his face whitened. His mouth seemed to go dry at once. He hadn't even thought of it as an idea! But now that James had brought it up, he felt a duty to. And it terrified him.

James continued, "Ask Macdonald out. You can do it. Even if she rejects you. I mean, how many times have I asked Evans out? Persistence does pays off. She'll be mine…One day. I know it."

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll ask Mary to the dance. But don't hold me to it until the Quidditch championship is over."

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	5. Unwelcome Reunion

Please review!Chapter Four: Unwelcome Reunion

Mulciber adeptly walked through the dungeon corridors like a scout on a familiar trail. It was second nature to the Fifth year Slytherin prefect, as he whispered the password and passed through the entrance.

He didn't have to go far to find his friends. Abruptly, Mulciber turned the corner as soon as he got in. There was a huge wall of plain, ugly skulls. Behind the skulls was the Dark trio's favorite hangout in the common room. It was a dingy, cramped corner that most of Slytherin preferred not to inhabit. Yet it had always been useful as a place to share secrets, as well as offering semi-privacy, out of everyone else's immediate eyeshot. It was now a couple of hours after dinner and the common room remained crowded. The loud buzz of conversations droned on, but Mulciber, Snape and Avery had long since learned there had been almost no chance they could be overheard.

Snape barely looked up when he saw Mulciber. And he lazily picked up his wand up from the table he was seated at. Avery was sitting next to him, already looking uncomfortable. But neither, Snape nor Mulciber paid that any mind. Snape simply raised his wand, and like every evening, since he'd recently invented the spell, cast the Muffliato charm.

But for the first time ever, Mulciber was not at all pleased by it. He hated to think about how Snape was always getting away with everything. It worried him to think that his friend spent too much time off on his own experimenting. It was on the tip of Mulciber's tongue to scornfully ask what other spells Snape had been inventing these days. But he couldn't bring it to himself to speak to Snape.

In a huff, Mulciber threw himself in the other chair, and glared across the table at Snape. Snape went back to his business, which was currently only the pretense of reading the Daily Prophet. Mulciber stared at the paper instead. It was a moving, black-and-white photograph of a shadowy figure, what was presumably Voldemort. In bold, capitals the headline read: 'The New Dark Lord: Powerful or Great'?

Snape did not move from his position with the paper. Snape didn't have the nerve to ask, but finally Avery asked for him, "So what happened? Did you find a way out of it?"

Mulciber frowned darkly. "No. I was caught. I'm also losing out on a job at the ministry. Dumbledore is writing me a negative reference! I don't even see any reason to study for those O.W.L.S anymore!" He'd really only said it, because he knew it would cause the strongest reaction in Severus.

There was a slight rustling of the paper, but then Snape went back to ignoring Mulciber again.

"Really? It's that bad?" said Avery anxiously.

"Uh-huh." Mulciber spread his legs, relaxing his thick frame. He took out a cigar wrapped in shiny blue paper.

"Want a smoke Avery?"

"Yeah, thanks."

With their wands, the two boys lit the cigars.

"Got these from Sluggy, right?" Avery asked.

"Yeah…At the last club meeting. You were there, remember?"

Avery didn't pay mind to Mulciber's question. Instead he looked back towards Snape. Snape looked like he could care less that they hadn't offered him one. They both knew Snape had never taken up smoking as a habit. They didn't know it, but it was partially because his father, Tobias smoked like a chimney.

Avery looked at Snape and then back at Mulciber again and again until Mulciber churlishly bellowed, "What is it?"

"Snape wants to know if Dumbledore caught his involvement in the scheme. Did he?"

"No….And make sure to tell Snape I didn't rat him out!"

And now Snape was truly surprised. He actually put the paper down. "Why? Ask him why Avery."

"Why didn't you do it?"

Mulciber bit his lip. "I still plan on doing this again. I almost decided to rat Snape out, but then I thought of something. Snape was the mastermind behind it, as he always is. And if I want any chance at having fun in the future, I'll need his careful planning."

Snape's sallow face drained of what little colour it had. "Tell him his luck's run dry."

Mulciber, still seated in the chair stamped his foot at Snape's words. He wanted to pout like a child to make Snape want to try it again. Mulciber muttered without looking at Snape, "You were a bloody coward…What'd you do? Run away?"

Snape's eyes flashed dangerously, just like they would years from now. He suppressed his rage at being called this. Instead he quietly pressed Mulciber, speaking to him directly and dropping Avery as the go-between, "Does Professor Dumbledore know?"

"Uh- I don't think so." Mulciber sounded doubtful.

"Yes, but how can I be sure he doesn't?"

"Look…The headmaster probably hasn't a clue. If he did, he'd be punishing you too, right?"

"Yes."

"I have to see him in his office tomorrow. He didn't request you come. But if he did know, surely you would be summoned…"

Avery and Mulciber were near galvanized to see Snape smile and then he proceeded to laugh. "It looks like something got past the old man. I got off!….Well, in that case…" And Snape leaned closer to Mulciber. "We can plan another dark attack on Macdonald. But this time, it would have to be completely fail-proof and that means we're going to need a lot of time. Weeks of preparation. Understand?"

"Yeah…But why not tomorrow?"

"On the day you're seeing Dumbledore? Are you out of your mind? He'll see it in your mind and expel us!"

Mulciber shrugged. "Fine. Guess we'll have to wait. But Avery should pitch in this time."

Avery nodded. And the three went to work discussing their plans on how Mulciber could get to Imperiuse and rape Macdonald some other time.

*

Mary Macdonald was still resting in the hospital wing but now she was getting ready to leave. Patiently, she folded the covers of her bed and plumped the pillows.

Madam Pomfrey came in and saw what the girl had done. "You didn't have to do that dear."

"Oh, that's okay. I wanted to. Are my friends waiting outside?"

A moment later, Mary emerged out of the hospital wing in a crisp cotton nightdress over a white chemise bathrobe.

"Hey, Mary!" called Lily down the end of the hall and she waved exuberantly.

"Madam Pomfrey drew me a bath…But I didn't get a chance to blow-dry yet!"

Sirius chuckled. "You look – you look, fine." But it came out awkwardly, for a second there he wanted to say so much more than fine. Mary was beautiful.

James shot a knowing look at Sirius. "Come on, Mary…Lets get you to the portrait hole."

"Yeah, we'd better hurry. Before something else happens to her!" blubbered Wormtail stupidly.

"Shut-up Peter!" said Lupin in an unusually harsh voice. Nobody heard what Lupin said next. He nudged Peter and whispered in his ear, "We thought you could keep a secret?"

"Sorry," said Wormtail lamely. The secret concerned the Marauder's keen insight that it must have been more than just the Imperius Curse. Yet they didn't want Mary or Lily for that matter realizing this.

But Mary was now looking less at ease. "What's going to happen to me?"

"Nothing, Mary. He doesn't know what he's talking about!" said Lily angrily.

James guided Mary through the halls. Sirius was too shy to lay a hand on her.

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	6. The Letter

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Chapter Six: The Letter  


The three of them sat on the benches towards the back of the Great Hall at the Slytherin table, almost oblivious to the clamor around them. Breakfast was already halfway over. The owls had come soaring in, one of them bearing Severus' copy of the newspaper he'd subscribed to. None other than the wizard's, Daily Prophet, of course.

Avery and Mulciber didn't like to waste time scouring for news. They had made it Snape's job to brief them every morning long ago. But that was only for news that mattered. Any news on the Dark Lord or anything that impacted the old Wizarding families was all that mattered to them.

"Anything interesting, Snape?" asked Avery.

Snape didn't answer, but just shrugged.

"When I become a Death Eater…" said Mulciber. Snape noticed he sounded like some over eager big shot, which was Mulciber's usual tendency to be supercilious. "I'll probably wind up being featured in the Daily Prophet for something significant. Mark my words, we'll all be famous supporters. Dangerous missions....imagine the power the Dark Lord will grant us. Perhaps I will be a spy!"

Snape couldn't help but guffaw skeptically over his pumpkin juice, spitting the contents back in his goblet. Mulciber twisted irritably in his seat, but nevertheless, he resisted admonishing his friend for the cynical attitude.

Avery took note of Snape instead. "What? You think it unlikely?"

Snape set aside the Daily Prophet. "As a matter of fact I do. Why would the Dark Lord assign us his most important missions? Even after we graduate, we'll still be three inexperienced young wizards. We haven't proven anything to him."

Avery looked to Mulciber to answer that. "We all have our families to back us up. They'll get my foot in the door, Snape. And so will Avery's family. Well except for your case…You'll just-"

Mulciber looked away from Snape from across the table. Snape looked away from Mulciber. It was an awkward moment.

Avery spoke, "Let's see…I know I'll do fine in the service because my dad's in it, and so is my grandfather and three of my uncles."

The conversation faded away into senseless babble to Snape, adding into the background noise like the hundreds of other conversations going on at the moment. Snape went into a reverie of consideration for his own position. His father surely wasn't a Death Eater. He wasn't even a wizard, brooded young Snape. Tobias was nothing but a worthless muggle. He hated his father and resented how, like so many times before, Avery and Mulciber's higher statuses alienated him.

'However…I am half a Prince," he thought proudly but grudgingly. His hand curled around his beloved Potions text, resting on his lap underneath the table. His mother, Eileen had used the very same Advanced Potion Making book in her schooldays. Although it was designed for Sixth years and beyond, Severus was just entering his Second year when his mother bequeathed it to him. Snape had always managed to stay a few years ahead of his peers. After finally recognizing his son's precocious mind, his mother decided to give him a leg up so that he might just get ahead. Well, at least he knew he was smarter than Avery and Mulciber, he thought as he observed them, sizing up their character and comparing them with that of his own. Voldemort would be more impressed with he, the Half-blood, despite the two of them being pure. But still there was a nagging doubt in his mind. How could he be so sure of this, unless he met Voldemort? If anything in the paper was true, it seemed the charismatic leader was a proud espouser of Pureblood supremacy. It appeared he'd never accepted an individual less than pure. Severus wondered if this was indeed true, or perhaps it was just the media spin.

His thoughts were rudely interrupted by an unexpected source. Severus felt his heart flutter to a galvanizing halt. The figure of Lily Evans was standing right beside him. Severus felt something of a tingling warmth creep through him when she tapped his shoulder.

"Good morning, Sev! I have a message for you."

Snape's eyes flickered with excitement, as he glanced at Lily's clear green eyes, which positively glowed in the morning light.

As if she could read what his expression meant, she added, "It's from Professor Dumbledore."

Instantly, Snape's face fell. He suddenly felt stupid. 'Of course Lily wouldn't give him a note! What was he expecting, a sentimental love letter?'

He hoped he wasn't blushing. He must remain discreet at what he'd been hoping she was going to give him. "Oh – er thanks," was all he could muster.

"I have to get back. It's a big day today – Well, bye!"

And she bounded away, her limbs moving with a fluid gaiety. She was so happy. Snape longed to feel happy with her. But he couldn't. Not this time. Not unless he had her, were his selfish thoughts.

Snape went for the note from the headmaster, with a very grim expression. The news couldn't be good.

Dear Mr. Snape:

There is an issue that must be dealt with as soon as possible. Obviously, it concerns the conduct of your friend, Mr. Mulciber. I expect you to report to my study along with Mr. Mulciber at seven o'clock this evening.

Sincerely:

Albus Dumbledore

Snape read the note very quickly two times and then was obsessively slow on the third. The angry feelings toward his father dissipated, and so did the pleasant ones regarding Lily. Replacing this all was a sense of ominous doom. He didn't know what it was about the note, as he hardly knew Dumbledore's personality on an individual level. Yet from what he could glean, Dumbledore barely sounded cordial in his writing. In fact, the headmaster seemed to be expecting Snape to be expedient at showing up at seven tonight. The whole letter sounded very demanding. There was no semblance of a mood to it. Snape could hardly tell how angry the headmaster would be. But one thing was for certain; he was in a lot of trouble. A rock and a hard place. But Snape wondered daringly if there was a way that he could wheedle himself out.

"What's in the note?" said Mulciber plaintively. He had been watching for Snape's reaction.

Snape was instantly on the defensive, blaming Mulciber. "You idiot, Mulciber! Dumbledore must have suspected something of my participation. Now he's summoned me to his office, same time as you!"

Snape felt a whoosh of rage at the look on Mulciber's face. He was actually grinning slyly. "I guess your getting it! The same punishments will befall you as they will for me."

"Maybe not," growled Snape. He glared across the table at Mulciber's smug expression. Mulciber was glad that despite refusing to rat out his friend, he was still getting the same comeuppance.

Snape felt another whoosh of dread and asked tentatively, "What's it like anyway?"

"What?"

Snape felt himself blush slightly. The rage towards his father was forgotten now. He now felt a loss of honor and growing shame at the probable punishment that he might receive later. He whispered, "You know, getting the cane?"

Mulciber frowned and chewed slowly on his toast looking thoughtful. "It's definitely painful Snape. I'll tell you right now that the stinging doesn't wear off immediately. But once the stinging subsides, it burns like a branding iron."

"Oh, come on…It can't be that awful," he scoffed.

"Fine. Don't believe me. You'll find out for yourself soon enough."

"Maybe not," added Snape quietly. "I'm going to lie to Dumbledore."

Mulciber lurched, practically jumping out his seat. "You'll never get away with that. He's a Legilimens, Snape."

Snape pushed aside his plate and stared at Mulciber loftily. "Haven't you even heard of Occlumency?" he asked imperiously.

He and Avery both shook their heads.

"Well Occlumency can counteract a Legilimen's power. It's a very rare branch of magic. But I've been exercising it for awhile now, and I'm going to take a risk. We'll see if I'm equipped enough to deal with Dumbledore. Should be interesting..."

Avery gaped at Mulciber and then back to Snape. "You're – Are you – Out of your mind?"

"No. I'm only trying to avoid more trouble. I never liked trouble and was never in trouble. Until now…" and Snape sounded bitter. "I'm having second thoughts about another attempt....I don't think it was prudent for me to plan it for you the first time. There's no way it will ever work."

Mulciber rolled his eyes and snapped something back at Snape. It was about the promise Snape made yesterday to help him get the chance to have another go at Mary again. But Snape wasn't listening.

He was glancing over his shoulder at Dumbledore. The old man looked his usual self, content and at ease. He wasn't even looking in Snape's direction, but busy chitchatting with Mcgonagall. It was a relief to know the professor hadn't bothered to look at him when he received the note from Lily. Or had he? But at least Dumbledore wasn't looking at him now, and because of this, Snape felt some blessed relief.

Snape's black eyes flickered to Lily across the Great Hall at the Gryffindor table. The Hufflepuff faces between them were nothing but blurs. He had eyes only for Lily.

Things were different today. After the incident with Mulciber, Snape felt intense guilt. Perhaps he wasn't good enough for Lily afterall. The memory of watching Mulciber attempt to hurt Mary yesterday had somehow invaded his feelings for Lily. He was painfully aware there was a side of him that enjoyed watching Mary suffer. Lily would probably be disgusted with him if she knew.

Lily didn't see him, but Snape remained with elbows crossed over the table staring darkly right at her, his eyes slanted. She was hanging out with that James Potter again. Snape felt a wave of jealously.

His own brain, his entire mind was tainted with dirty thoughts after what happened to Lily's friend. His imagination was whirring like never before. He could not just stare at Lily. He could almost see through her clothing. Unconsciously, his eyes widened at the thought of touching those supple breasts that must lie beneath the little cardigan.

He tried to shake off his lust. He knew deep down, he could never attempt to really hurt Lily. But he wanted her, to possess her and know she was his to own and his alone.

The moments slipped away until breakfast ended and suddenly Lily was leaving the Great Hall. Snape forced himself to look away. He needed to go to the library. Today was the Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.

**Note: Please review. I don't get many reviews for this. Is it that bad? I just want to know somebody is enjoying this. Suggestions and ideas are welcome. **


	7. A Burden of Conscience

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Chapter Six: A Burden of Conscience  


There was one mistake he made; the biggest one he'd ever made and it hadn't been on the O.W.L. The image of him hanging by his ankles in the beech tree eventually faded, his suffering ceased, as he knew it would even then. But the word "Mudblood" was sticking to Snape forever. Hours later, he berated himself for associating with the likes of Mulciber. Being around him had finally rubbed off and he wasn't sure he was glad to know him. But that was another matter, for now all he could hear, like a cruel chant was his own voice, in his mind, where it uttered the racial epithet. "Mudblood! - Mudblood! – Mudblood!" It was like a cruel chant. He must atone for what he had done to Lily. He hadn't meant to call her that! Really!

But he would have to wait. The first order of business was of course, abiding by the headmaster's note to meet with him promptly at seven.

Along the way, Snape met up with Mulciber. While one boy swaggered with an assured gait, Snape seemed to be almost limping like a wounded animal. Already.

Mulciber glared at him. "Snape – would you relax? It hasn't even happened to you yet."

"Don't talk to me," he mumbled. "I've got to think on this…" And Snape felt a resurgence of dogged determination. He was still going to lie to Dumbledore. There was a spark of hope that he could get away with it. Get away with almost everything.

He hardly heard Mulciber's slightly reproachful remark. "Fine. I won't say anything."

Mulciber and Snape got past the entrance, as Mulciber remembered the password from yesterday. It hadn't changed since. "Giant Pygmy Puff."

Once the phoenix stopped its journey, the staircase stopped moving. Snape felt grounded into the floor at being left stationary. It was all becoming too real. He was in trouble like never before. Mulciber knocked on the door loudly and it wasn't long at all to wait until Dumbledore answered.

Both boys flinched as the headmaster raised his wand. A plain chair was transfigured into existence. Dumbledore slipped his wand back in the deep recesses of his robes. And with his other, a long, white finger beckoned to Mulciber.

Snape understood. Feeling a sense of terrible foreboding, Snape went to sit in the transfigured chair. Then again, it was nice of Dumbledore to conjure him this. The door closed softly in front of him and now he was alone.

It seemed like an age until Mulciber emerged. All was quiet for five minutes. And the silence persisted to ten.

Finally he thought he heard something. The tiniest whistling and a crack. Again and again. Snape sat rooted to the spot. It was becoming very uncomfortable to listen. He had not even thought of counting. Was that the sixth or the eighth?!

There was a haunting, resounding wail. It sounded like it was over. Snape waited for what seemed another age, listening to silence.

When Mulciber did emerge, he could not look at Snape. His face was hardened, concealing pain.

"You're to go in," was grunted, and tore down the stairs two at a time. Mulciber was somewhat embarrassed, and despite the caning, was able to move with agility.

Snape looked back towards where Mulciber disappeared. He wished his friend gave him encouragement, or at least discussed how he'd coped and also, gave a summation of all that was said and done between Dumbledore. But what was he expecting of Mulciber really? Of course it wasn't in his character to care for Snape like that. And besides, who'd ever cared for Snape like that? He felt indifference towards Mulciber.

He moved on towards the door and turned the brass knob. He didn't know what he was going to face in there. But he had to, and he had to try to get past this, and hopefully get some kind of clemency for himself.

The moment he entered Dumbledore spoke, "Severus…Come here." He wasn't angry, but it was an authoritative tone nevertheless. Snape felt strange to hear the headmaster use his first name.

He came to Dumbledore at his desk and Dumbledore gestured silently for him to sit also.

"I'm sure you know why you are here…" Dumbledore paused. He didn't like to see that the boy's sallow face was turned upward, with eyes staring blankly above.

"Severus - I expect the courtesy of looking at me," Dumbledore said a little sharply.

Snape forced himself to look at Dumbledore, and voiced awkwardly, "Yes – headmaster."

Dumbledore paused a moment, looking at the boy with slight contemplation. The eyes were so black and deep. They reminded him oddly of the tunnels in the London Underground. In fact, there were a lot of things he hadn't noticed about this particular Slytherin. Dumbledore felt a stab of regret.

"Mr. Snape….I am sorry I have not spoken with you in private before. I feel that monitoring things would have prevented you being here today….I should have kept a closer eye upon you."

Snape wasn't sure he understood this. But right now he really wished he didn't have to look at Dumbledore. There was pity there, pity for himself and for Snape this was inexplicable.

And Dumbledore went on more pragmatically, "However, this occasion warrants serious review, and I am afraid, a severe action. We shall get to that later…First let us talk. Openly."

Snape nodded. But he didn't want to speak first.

"You may say whatever…. I would like to hear the full take on it from you. I shall not chastise you for telling the truth," promised the professor. He sounded eager, as if this was storytelling time or something.

Snape's lips pressed together. He felt crafty and more at ease. This was going a lot better than he'd anticipated. Perhaps it wouldn't be so hard to lie to the great wizard. Now was the time to press his advantage. So he began, "Sir – er…. I have a confession to make…."

Dumbledore's eyebrows rose. He was glad the boy was willing to admit this quickly, therefore Dumbledore would be lenient with his punishments, unlike what he gave to Mulciber.

And Snape was more confident. He knew how to act. "I never went inside the changing rooms. I hadn't witnessed what Mulciber did to Mary! I ran away…." Snape focused on the visual memory of himself fleeing, but of course that image was after the event. But now he had just told Dumbledore it was before. A lie. He remained blank and calm inside, employing his Occlumency skills. It sounded convincing, even to Dumbledore. But still, it wasn't possible to get everything past him. "However, Mr. Snape…You cannot deny you helped Mr. Mulciber plot the guile scheme. Can you?"

"No, professor. But I did swear to Mulciber, that I would never help him again! And I mean what I said!" Snape, his voice usually so low and controlled, was yelling. Snape expected the headmaster to take it as disrespect and to react in anger. But he did not. And Snape thought in partiality what he just said was true. Last night Snape told Mulciber another attempt at raping Mary Macdonald was too arduous to undertake again. It was out of the question!

"I am glad you are making penance. However, you should not have abetted him in the first place….And not only did you abet....I suspect you were also his accomplice. An accomplice in the very least, in the design of the dark plans."

Glad to finally look away, Snape hung his head. However he was only feigning guilt. He did not feel a single shred of remorse for Mary Macdonald. Not yet. However, Snape felt a great sense of regret. He regretted the events in the changing room, because it had contributed to more of Lily Evan's angry admonitions.

"Now…With all times before yesterday in mind, to what extent have you practiced the Dark Arts?"

Snape's head snapped up sharply. He had not prepared for this question.

"In other words, to what extent have you studied for instance, the Imperius Curse, Severus? Have you applied it to anyone or anything? This includes all Unforgivables and any other Dark Arts…"

"Er…." For the first time, Snape was at a loss to be a nimble fabricator of the truth.

"Think carefully…"

"What you must have heard from others is true. I studied the Dark Arts extensively, sir. Even before I came here, I was up to my eyes in it! But I have not used them on another person." But this was another lie. Snape and his gang had tested both the Imperius Curse and Cruciatus on each other many times before. As well as the Killing Curse on animals, and in fights even the Cruciatus Curse was used on rivals in other cliques.

Dumbledore frowned. He was finally getting the distinct impression that Snape was lying. The bright blues irises bored into Severus's dark ones. But his mind was blank and calm. Dumbledore was surprised. He'd rarely seen a student with such profound skills in Occlumency.

Dumbledore remembered his conversation with Mulciber the day before. He'd seen in Mulciber's mind that the two had been reading a book together in the stands just before the incident. From this, he got an intuitive leap, a flash of insight. Softly Dumbledore ordered, holding his hand out, "Give me your schoolbag…"

Snape didn't want to move. But a hand went reluctantly beside the chair leg, and he lugged the schoolbag over the desk. Dumbledore had to pry apart the clasp, for it was so full of books, it was fit to bursting.

He went through them, coming across the Potions text, and nodding. Nothing was wrong with these items so far. Having a tendency to notice every detail Dumbledore saw the inscriptions in the Advanced Potion-making book. "What is this?"

"Incantations. I invented them personally, sir."

Dumbledore nodded again, "Impressive. Clearly you have a talent."

But at the bottom of the pack, he shook irritably at finding just what he'd expected. "And what is this Severus?"

Dumbledore tapped the very book he and Mulciber had been reading at the stands. Snape stalled nervously.

The headmaster clucked his tongue with displeasure, and Snape's knees even in the chair wobbled, thinking of the punishment Mulciber had endured.

"These subjects are for serious study. It is not to be taken lightly at leisure…or worse as a joke."

"I know, professor. I am sincerely interested in it, sir," murmured Snape. He gulped.

"Control your interest in the Dark Arts!" Dumbledore barked sharply. "Yes, I see. I am aware you were reading this right before the attempt on Mary's innocence!"

Dumbledore rifled aggressively through the pages, coming to a chapter that had every page dog-eared. The pages bore the same distinct handwriting that had been on Snape's Potions text. Direct evidence that Severus was reading it closely.

The headmaster clucked his tongue again. "Severus…This is disgusting. I hope you do not have any fantasies like your young friend!"

"No, professor!" he said, trying to sound appalled. "Headmaster, I did not take the book out. Mulciber is a Sixth year, he's allowed to. Isn't he?"

"Unfortunately, in Mulciber's case that is correct…." Dumbledore paused, deep in thought. He inwardly berated himself for having the Restricted Section at all. However, he would never close it, for part of being a wizard meant possessing an open mind. The Dark side was an inseparable part of life. Students should be prepared for anything. Encountering the worst was a strong possibility when they left this place. Especially now that Lord Voldemort was rising to preeminence. Dumbledore had an open mind towards exploration, even things that some may label "deviant". Yet unlike some others, he did not think it deviant to have a natural curiosity for these things. Reading it was acceptable, but actually doing them was another matter entirely.

"I shall be informing Mr. Mulciber. His privilege of the Restricted section is suspended for the rest of the school year. Not revoked, only suspended…." And Dumbledore became stern and said edgily, "I expect, this means I shall not find those books in your possession as long as you remain a Fifth year. Severus?!"

"Yes, professor."

Dumbledore took the confiscated book out of sight, securing it in a drawer in his desk. Dumbledore would make it his duty to return it to the library later.

Dumbledore smoothed his hands over the desk, "Now…I suppose I was correct to presume your involvement, wasn't I?" He sounded satisfied and assured. Snape had obviously been successful at the deception.

"I already admitted it," said Snape. He was blushing slightly. He knew he was lying again, now indirectly. For Snape hadn't told Dumbledore he was a witness. But he continued to concentrate on doing Occlumency anyway.

"I also gathered that you are lying to me, Severus…"

Snape felt a whoosh of sickening terror and shuddered. Dumbledore saw it and went on sharply, "You mistaken me to be more trusting or dare I say foolish than I actually am. I did not believe it for an instant when you told me you never performed the torture curse or the Imperius!"

Snape stared at the floor, finally feeling genuine shame. A sense of defeat washed over him, too. "Yes, sir. I've performed the Killing Curse many times as well. On animals, creatures and what have you. I did all these things and more!"

"Yes. I already knew this of you, Severus. You exaggerated the truth. I am going to have to be more….severe with you for it." Dumbledore felt funny using the word "severe." It sounded so much like the boy's moniker!

"I have one final question to ask you…But regardless of your response, my decision shall not be appealed. Afterward, I am going to use the cane, Severus…."

Snape nodded, feeling total acceptance for his impending punishment. For Snape was very old-fashioned and firmly believed that pupils who stepped outside the rules should have a heavily handed punishment of a corporal kind. If he was headmaster, the cane would be used too. Yet everybody knew Dumbledore was a special Hogwarts headmaster who was a reformist. He banned the centuries old practice of whippings and chains in the dungeons. And it wasn't often that he caned his students when they came to his office in trouble. Most of the time he spoke kindly and then simply sentenced them to detentions.

The next question sounded like Dumbledore already knew the answer was affirmative and Snape felt a prickle of fear. "Were you interested in seeing Miss Macdonald suffer? Do you wish you had been there?"

The young face remained inscrutable, his eyes fathomless. Snape suddenly remembered Lily and his heart weakened at today's events. Lily was hurt and Dumbledore was disgusted. It was too much a burden for him to stand! "I – I was there! I watched Mulciber attack Macdonald behind a curtain. And I got pleasure from it!"

Dumbledore seemed to freeze on the spot. It was a long moment before Dumbledore spoke. For the man was shocked, absolutely shocked that the boy succeeded in lying to him! That other lie had not gotten past Dumbledore, but this one somehow had.

Snape wished he could sink into the floor and disappear. Dumbledore looked dreadful. "You told a serious, terrible lie."

Snape said tremulously, "My sincerest apologizes for deceiving you, sir."

"Yes, and you should also realize what an egregiously disrespectful gesture it is. It was cruel to enjoy watching a fellow student being denigrated like that! You really are callous."

Snape's hands were in fists, the knuckles whitening from the pressure. He was embarrassed of Dumbledore's discovery that he not only planned it, but also participated as an observer.

"However, I can admire your grit. Your attempt to deceive me was brave. For I have deduced that was your plan, was it not? To escape my retribution through these lies?"

Snape spoke carefully, "I thought I would get out of most of the punishment if I did so. I did not think I would be completely let off…Sir."

"And so…I must punish you more," said Dumbledore very seriously. "And apparently you are an exceptional Occlumens…."

Snape didn't smile at this but he rambled, before he caught himself, "I thought if this worked, then I'd know. If I could lie to you, then I can lie to the Dark Lord."

Dumbledore felt a stab of rage at these words. And now the boy was most unwisely implying he wanted to join the Dark Lord! Dumbledore actually grew cold, and sarcastic. "Very insightful, Severus. While it is true, that when I knew him, I realized…" He sighed. "Voldemort is probably the greatest Legilimens the world has ever seen….But today you are under my care. It is too bad a great Occlumens like you cannot be put to better use. Rather you act as merely a schoolboy would, using advanced magic to lie to his headmaster." He added condescendingly. "I am sure Lord Voldemort does not care for using it in this particular endeavour. To him, it is trite insignificance."

Snape nodded in agreement and stared glumly at Dumbledore.

"Do you know what makes me angriest of all?"

"Yes, I do," said Snape quietly. Then he explained bitterly, "The fact I enjoyed watching her molestation! Isn't it?" Snape paled, feeling sickened again. "I was only curious to see how it's done!" He meant both how someone would rape and how someone would Imperiuse an unwilling individual.

Dumbledore shook his head. "It is your inaction that irks me like nothing else, Severus. You saw the Curse be put on the girl, you saw Mulciber move in to rape the poor child, and you did nothing…."

Snape stared hard at the floor, his face twisting into pain.

"I believe you may be a good person still. And yet, there are too many good people in this world who do nothing. I mean both the Wizarding world and muggle world. We are all the same. People. You would think that only wizards could possess the cunning, the ingenuity to do the most heinous crimes, including rape. It simply isn't true…." Dumbledore stalled, remembering Ariana. "It is one of the greatest mistakes, that people can make. Standing by and allowing others to commit atrocities…Allowing evil to exist and doing nothing to eradicate it!"

Snape nodded dully. Dumbledore, he thought, may be trying to motivate and inspire, to spur him onto something. But it wouldn't work. He felt nothing but apathy; a hollow emptiness mixed with a knot of anguish.

But Dumbledore had a much brighter attitude than his pupil. He was coming to an understanding of Severus Snape. No longer was he the enigmatic figure.

"I knew a man once….A young, charming boy. He'd been very popular at his school and very much twisted in his desires. He had many friends and was well liked. His name was Gellert Grindelwald."

Snape's jaw dropped. He was awed that Dumbledore had not only defeated Grindelwald, but had known him personally! He felt inquisitive. "Sir? You knew the Dark Wizard Grindelwald?"

"Yes, before he became famous we were quite close," said Dumbledore fondly. He was smiling nostalgically now.

"But my point is this Severus: sometimes the popular, charming one can be just as bad or worse. There is no shame at all in being lonely." Oddly enough, Dumbledore recognized a bit of the young Grindelwald in Severus. A similar darkness.

Snape crossed his arms over his chest. How Dumbledore had known this about himself he couldn't ponder. Even he hadn't realized this about himself! He was lonely. Determined to be friends with people like Mulciber, Avery, and Lucius Malfoy because he thought they were the only ones who understood him. The ones who made him think he belonged to something. But Dumbledore, he understood him too. It was new and unsettling. Snape didn't know what to make of it.

"I repeat: it is not the worst state to be lonely. You can find comfort and courage in it."

Snape felt to be in a stupor. He didn't know how to appreciate Dumbledore's sagacious advice. After a dragging silence, Dumbledore rose wearily.

He cautioned, "I'd rather give you a mark on your backside, then hear you've taken the Dark Mark in future. Perhaps this will somehow steer you away from that course. I am not oblivious to the three of you. You all hold aspirations to serve Voldemort. It saddens me how young people these days are so caught up in his grandiose ideas. They are vulnerable to his lies."

Snape listened, interested. But then his face whitened. Dumbledore walked away, and strode over to a cabinet in the back of the room.

An enormous wave of guilt washed over Snape, when he saw Dumbledore take out the implement. He almost didn't need to feel the sting of the cane. He already felt bad enough. But Snape thought that as a student he certainly deserved a good flogging for disrespecting his headmaster.

He barely got to glimpse how thick and long the rod was until Dumbledore said evenly, "Kindly place yourself across my desk. Across my desk and you must have your trousers dropped."

Dumbledore said it evenly, even with a slightly pleasant smile. He might have been remembering his schooldays, a century ago and the few times he'd gotten a caning or even a whipping or two on the bare. And Snape automatically did as he was told. First removing his black school robes. His fingers shook as he undid the zipper, and let his pants fall to his ankles. This reminded him painfully of the incident today by the Black Lake. With a wave of his wand, James had managed to remove and actually steal his underwear when he hung upside down in the beech tree. But this was, perhaps more humiliating.

Still he was certain the headmaster wanted him to be punished on bare flesh. So he forced the briefs to cascade to his ankles as well. He didn't want to show such weakness. Not so soon. And he hoped desperately that he wouldn't cry out or produce tears.

It was awfully exposing to know his rump was poking out over the edge of the desk. To make matters worse, the portraits were whispering together about it. Soon it'd be all over the school that both Severus Snape and Maxwell Mulciber had gotten a caning in the Headmaster's study.

Snape's face was ashen with a mixture of regret, hot shame and even budding remorse for Mary. He wished he hadn't aided Mulciber.

Dumbledore tested the cane, letting it whistle through the air. Snape got the impression that it was very springy and flexible. He knew from this in an instant, that it would hurt like nothing he'd ever had besides the very brief seconds under the Cruciatus.

Dumbledore tapped the cane against Severus's buttocks. Dumbledore surveyed through his half-moon spectacles that the boy's two lobes were nice and smooth with a firm roundness. Dumbledore was even more pleased and relieved by the sight of them. It was good to know, that although Severus was thin and scrawny he had a stout enough posterior to endure harsh blows.

Snape tensed his backside, so that his buttocks grew even more taut. Inwardly he clenched the innards of his stomach, hoping he wouldn't toss up dinner.

"A good caning should put your desires for the Dark Arts under control."

"How many strokes am I getting?"

"Hmm...If you had not so blatantly lied, perhaps only four or five. But because you were dishonest, it is ten strokes, Severus. The fact you used magic against my good will, offended me deeply.

"I expected greater integrity from you, more rectitude on your part. Might I impress again, how very disappointed I am in you, young man."

"Yes, sir."

"And I must warn this hurts much more than your father's belt ever could. Do not get up, or you will receive extra….Severus?"

Snape was shocked. How did Dumbledore know that when he was small, Tobias had frequently belted his arse, especially when drunk? Dumbledore did not know that he had investigated his home life, having known his mother, Eileen.

"Severus?! I also expect you to count them."

"Yes, sir."

There was a few seconds of lingering and then Dumbledore raised the cane. _Thwack!_

For the most transient instant, it seemed not to hurt more than a hard thump. And then the real pain hit. Stinging and burning and he quickly announced, "One, sir."

Again and again the black rattan cane impacted him. By the fourth stroke Snape was becoming seriously nettled by it.

_Thwack!_ "Ffff-five, sir!" For a second he had felt like cursing, but he had stopped himself. "Halfway there," said Dumbledore between strokes.

Snape's hands tightened over the edge of the desk at the last second before until, Thwack! The stroke fell straight on his thighs. He grumbled a low groan.

Dumbledore tapped the cane restlessly against his buttocks, reminding the boy it wasn't over. He didn't want to give more strokes or else the boy would have too much difficulty later.

"Six, sir."

_Thwack!_ The cane came down again and Snape managed to say the count. By now bright red stripes, with slight indentations were all over his buttocks. Snape could feel his knees unlocking.

_Thwack!_ "Eight, sir."

_Thwack!_ At the ninth stroke, Snape could hardly register that tears were slipping out the corners of his eyes. Subdued by now he merely whispered, "Nine, sir."

Dumbledore himself felt relief that there was only one more cut to inflict. But surely Severus wouldn't feel the relief until it was over.

_Thwack!_ Severus needed a moment, and then he finally said, "Ten, sir."

Dumbledore immediately left the boy to gather himself alone. Snape forced himself not to lie there. His hands were still shaking as he put his clothing back on.

Dumbledore finally returned to Snape, and they just stood there, boy to man. "I am surprised how stoic you were, much braver than Mulciber and some others I've had to punish like this."

Snape nodded in assent, and gazed at Dumbledore, regarding him with a special deference now. He was wise enough to understand why Dumbledore was one to be respected, and that is exactly what Snape felt for his headmaster now, great respect mixed with a healthy dosage of fear.

"I am assigning you detentions with me for the rest of this month. Twice a week. Mr. Mulciber has also been assigned my detentions, but you will each attend separately.

"And I will be keeping an eye upon you….I feel I should for your sake as much as others."

Snape did not know whether to be glad or disturbed by the idea of Dumbledore watching him.

Alone, the great and powerful wizened Wizard felt unusually powerless. Sadly he snuffed out his candles with a snap of his fingers and a wave of his wand and went upstairs to bed. He felt disempowered for he knew he could not stop Snape, and the others from making mistakes like joining Voldemort.

Dumbledore felt fury in his heart as he made his way up the steps. It was heartrending for him to know that he could not force others to be righteous. That would only make him a tyrant. Dumbledore had long since learnt the lesson that you must let people, especially Witches and Wizards have their own free will. But should he have caned young Severus? The boy would not change from it....The Death Eaters were going to be his gang, his associates no matter what Dumbledore could do or say. Dumbledore came to the top of the stairs, guided only by moonlight, the rest of the atmosphere cloaked in darkness. Atrocities like rape would become the norm for Snape and Mulciber when they were with the Dark Lord. Ultimately, it would all be up to Snape's choices for what he'd do when free to go out in the world, the world beyond Hogwarts and the boundaries of even Dumbledore's powers....

**Note: Please review! It took me awhile to write this.**


	8. An Uncomfortable Meeting

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Chapter Eight: An Uncomfortable Meeting

A little while later, Mulciber and Snape tried to play a game of chess in the common room. Neither could concentrate very much, even though they were sitting on the couches instead of their usual place. They were having difficulty getting past Dumbledore's chastisement, considering that they must go and meet someone.

It was with trepidation that they walked together through the dungeon corridors. Mulciber's tread was much slower than usual, yet he somehow managed to keep up an almost proud stance. Snape was a different story. He was skulking along now, almost like a wounded animal. Yet it wasn't the cane's bite that made him like a dog with his tail between its legs. His heart was smarting from shame, and an icy regret for today's events.

Testily, Horace swirled the contents of a glass filled with murky brown liquor. His face was blotchy, and his corpulent frame, wearing a green plaid waistcoat sagged over the desk. He was sitting straight-backed and upright, not as leisurely as he usually would.

All he said upon the students entering was a gruff, "Inside, boys."

Snape thought he'd better sit down and went for the velvet pouf chairs. Slughorn, had yet to elaborate and Snape glared up at Mulciber to sit down with him.

"This is the first time, the only time this will ever happen," Slughorn began.

Mulciber and Snape slumped their shoulders and cowered in the seats. Slughorn took a measured sip of his beverage, and declined to offer either a boy a drink. Normally, he would have under a better circumstance.

"Before I finish with you boys tonight, I want a certainty that such egregious behaviour will never occur in my house again!"

The Potions Master, the friendly, exuberant Potions Master was actually yelling, almost babbling incoherently. It was like a whoosh of icy cold water being poured down their heads.

Snape and Mulciber both whispered their assent. It would never happen again. Or at least they must never be caught, which was more in line with what Mulciber was thinking. But Snape knew he would never try this again. Or anything like it.

"I see that the two of you are already suffering for it…. I am pleased," the teacher continued, in a smooth tone. His usually jovially features were glacial.

Both boys squirmed on the velvet poufs, although the pain in their behinds did not exacberate nearly as much as it would have on a wooden seat. Slughorn's demeanor made them so uncomfortable they couldn't stop fussing with themselves.

Slughorn felt a sense of relief that the boys looked so uncomfortable, clearly they were growing ashamed. Probably not as ashamed as Slughorn, the teacher thought.

For fifteen highly unpleasant minutes, Professor Slughorn yelled at, berated and lectured Snape and Mulciber. And all they were permitted to say in return was "Yes, sir" or "No, sir" mumbling so low, it was almost nonsensical.

"…And you have embarrassed me as a Head of House. But no, it is worse. Insulted me!" And Slughorn actually slammed a pudgy fist down onto his desk. "One-hundreds points from Slytherin!"

Mulciber looked up, his face pale. He was shaken as he quavered disbelievingly, "Sir?"

"Each!" Slughorn finished, still effused with rage.

"The reputation of Slytherin suffers for your idiocy. You have degraded the noble house's reputation…Taking points is the least of the matter."

"Yes, professor," whispered Snape guiltily.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Slughorn concluded his severe censure, actually sounding a bit calmer. "Hopefully this will be the only time Dumbledore ever uses the cane on you boys again.

"Now off you go. Straight to your dormitories."

Snape stared at Slughorn for a moment, consumed with a deference for his Head of House. But Slughorn could hardly stand the sight of them a minute longer. Snape was finally growing to realize how very much he deserved the punishments.

And then Snape practically stumbled out of the room after his friend who was quite ahead of him. And so, young Snape walked alone, slowly. And suddenly he remembered something. Before going back to the dormitory he had to do something. It was worth it. It was worth anything. He would do anything for her.

Note: Please review


	9. By the Portrait Hole

**Please review!**

**Chapter Nine: By the Portrait Hole**

"And tell Lily I'm going to sleep here! I'll stay here all through the bloody night, and if I am expelled, so be it!" Snape sounded angry, and also unusually daring. Almost like in his self-hatred, he'd started acting like a twisted version of his opposite, James Potter.

Mary looked a little surprised to see Snape raise his voice. He was usually quite reticient, and when he did speak, his voice, usually heard by her only in classes, was low and controlled.

Snape became a bit surprised by the way Mary looked so frightened of him. Snape thought she was looking at him as if he was some sort of a sick, disgusting freak. It was ironic Mary looked at him like this when she didn't even know he'd been there that day in the girls' showers. Snape softened his demeanor, and with his usual reserve restored, murmured, "Just bring her out whenever you can."

Mary sighed. "I guess I can try to get her to come out, Snape."

And Snape turned around with a huff, arms crossed defensively, as he waited outside Gryffindor tower.

When Lily emerged from the portrait hole and they had spoken, Snape felt worse than ever. If Mary thought of him as a monster, Lily thought of him as nothing at all. Nothing worth knowing anymore. The fact that she practically admitted she wanted him out of her life drove him mad. '…None of my friends can even understand why I talk to you anymore.' These words stabbed like icicles, piercing his conscience and destroying the heart of such a young man, a vulnerable and wounded one. His infatuation and passion for Lily was the only thing that cured Severus's ailing heart. She was the only thing that could, or ever would give him the experience he yearned for: love. He must find another chance to speak to her again. He would never give up.

But for the time being, there were distractions. Snape would focus instead on other things, no matter how hard that was. And maybe, just maybe in the future Lily would change her mind about him, and about everything. He recalled her mentioning just now, '…You and your precious little Death Eater friends….You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?' If only there was a way to change her opinions. But Snape already knew she'd never listen to that kind of rhetoric. 'But still', he thought determinedly. 'There must be another way.'

"….Why should I be any different?" Tears pricked the corners of Snape's eyes at these words. They lingered like a continuous, lonely echo. As Snape went down to the Slytherin common room, he felt his throat constrict, choking up with emotion. 'Because I love you…' If only he had had the guts to say it! But he had feared Lily's rejection too much.

'Oh, Lily must really think me pathetic!" ruminated Severus. But Severus had it all wrong in his head. Not pathetic because he loved her and would do anything for it. But pathetic because of the way Snape dealt with his image. He was alone as the Halfblood, a pariah amidst his Pureblood friends and his Pureblood enemies. That included both the likes of Avery and Mulciber, and James, Sirius, and even Remus, and Peter were really in the same category and all the others who supported humiliating him like what happened by the lake today. For Lily had not been the true target, the real victim. Even after he used that unforgivable word, "mudblood." She was a mudblood yet despite this, she had all the friends and admirers. It was he who stood alone now.

And Snape remembered something else Lily had said while they went walking in the courtyard a few days ago. 'Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?' Snape had called it nothing. Nothing but a laugh. He wished he hadn't said that now. It must be part of the reason Lily couldn't stand him anymore. It hadn't been funny at all. But how else was Snape going to conceal his guilt over the event? And besides, that had been before Dumbledore had punished him. It felt like ages had past since, but he still couldn't get past his pride to admit his guilt to Lily over what happened to Mary. But he certainly deserved all the consequences for the trouble he'd caused. "That was a laugh…" Maybe he had thought that way then. But now, Snape realized acting this way was only a mask of his true feelings. But one he should wear well if he was to become a Death Eater…. Lily was right. It was exactly what he and his friends were aiming to be. They wanted it, even if it was the worst choice they could make for themselves.

And Snape felt like the guilt he hid from the world was an explosive inside him, a double-edge sword both good and bad. But he didn't understand it could also be a weapon, one that could show the best of him. If only Lily had seen his heart on this fated evening: so full of pain and love. He could not distinguish one from the other. 'Were the two meant to be fused together?' He mused this as he came to the conclusion that yes he was in love with Lily Evans. And always had been. But admitting guilt over the part he played with what happened to Macdonald would have been the only thing that might have kept them closer longer. But Severus was oblivious to the impact his guilt could have. This guilt could have been a weapon, the only one that could have been infallible, even up against James and his Quidditch.

It was the worst day of Snape's sixteen years. Yet the future would be dark. His darkest hour would mean losing his Lily forever….The worst was yet to come…

**Note: Please review. I hope you liked it!**


	10. A Chat with the Marauders

**Please review! I've decided to consider putting in a more sexual exchange between Lily and Severus…Don't expect a romantic one-night stand or anything, but I might put something interesting in….**

**Chapter Ten: A Chat with the Marauders**

The portrait of the Fat lady swung shut behind Lily. The room held the air of expectancy about it, and then immediately she spotted James Potter. He must have wanted to stay up to see what happened. No doubt he'd heard from all those complaining Gryffindors about the dodgy Slytherin student nobody liked, hanging around their territory tonight.

"Were you talking to….Snape?" James, who sat before the great Gryffindor fireplace, had his legs stretched out in front of him as he lounged on the couch, reading a scroll of his notes for tomorrow's O.W.L.s. He threw the papers down, and stared up at his future wife intensely. James had just forced himself to say, "Snape" instead of the usual "Snivellus." He'd always preferred to refer to his nemesis with the cruel nickname. Lily was observant enough to take note of the emended language.

She became a bit defensive, "Yeah…I was…"

James grinned slyly. "What about?"

"It's none of your business James Potter!" said Lily in a shrill voice.

James nodded triumphantly, with a knowing look in his eyes behind the glasses. He knew Lily too well from their five years at Hogwarts. If she was this upset, it had to have went bad and this meant one up for him and a good notch down for old Snivellus!

James spoke playfully, knowing all too well that he could easily manipulate her now. "Fine…If you won't tell me a thing…. I won't tell you what I know either."

Lily's green eyes narrowed suspiciously, but nevertheless she took the bait. She had no choice but to sit down on the same couch that James occupied on the far side. Yet James, unashamed, chivied up to her, and she tried to shrink away, but to no avail.

Lily, refusing to look at James, spoke in a faint, detached voice. It was like she had decided to break up with a boyfriend. "Well if you must - I've just told Severus - I won't speak to him anymore…."

James smirked. It was clear he couldn't be more satisfied right now. "Wonderul news…Oy! Black! Did you hear that Lily's cut her ties with Snape?"

Sirius came over to listen, and he scrutinized Lily closely. She just shrugged her shoulders, limply in defeat. Sirius only looked slightly concerned about something else going on internally. "Hey…Did any of you see Mary lately?"

"She's okay – er I guess….She told me she was tired and needed to hit the sack early" said Lily worriedly. "She seems really down lately…It's really strange."

James felt a longing for Lily to regard him, at least the way she was talking to his best mate, Sirius. James couldn't stand it or explain it, but Lily seemed to have no respect for him. What was their not to like about him? He was James Potter! And why was it that Lily could never really look at him? Like the skills borne of his Quidditch reflexes, James was quick to brush away the hurt inside.

James yawned widely and rose. "Well, I think it'd be good if I went to sleep…Enough of studying these wretched antidotes!"

Soon enough James had left the Common room, with Sirius eagerly following his friend. Lily remained alone, on the couch. She wondered what had made her best girlfriend, Mary Macdonald become so distant and withdrawn in merely a week.

And then she realized she was not alone. Out of the dark, stepped a thin and straight-lined figure, creating a shadow on the stone walls over the firelight.

"Oh Remus, I didn't know you were here…"

"Just watching… I do it all the time. James and Sirius have always been the ones for talking. But you'd be surprised how much I learn by listening."

Lupin looked over the many armchairs, his gray eyes darting around the Common room. Out of the few people left, nobody was giving them any mind. They would not be overheard.

He sat down across from Lily, leaning in towards her. Lily was starting to wonder what Remus was after. Her almond-shaped eyes sparkled curiously.

"Please, please don't tell anyone I've told you Lily…. Especially James. He'd be really upset if you knew…He's quite protective of you. He doesn't want you to know what I'm about to tell you…"

Lily looked doubtful at hearing James was protective of her. Whatever Lupin thought, James was not like her brother, or whatever Lupin was implying. She couldn't quite define what James was other than a nuisance.

Lily looked thoughtful. "If that's true…Then why didn't James tell me just now this something he knows? And is it what you're going to tell me?"

"He wasn't going to tell you Lily….He was just using the knowledge to his advantage. I know it sounds awful…But that's James. He does that sometimes…It's probably a way to- get you and him together…"

"I'm never going out with that arrogant prick, Remus!"

"I know," Remus forced himself to concede, despite his real opinion on the matter. "Remember what happened to Mary?"

"Of course I do!"

"Well, you probably don't realize the half of it…I doubt you've realized just horrible it must have been for her."

"She has been acting very strange of late," answered Lily.

"I was there," croaked Remus despondently. "You have no idea how horrible it was to see that…."

Lily asked delicately, "To see what exactly?" She had the impression there was something that she wasn't catching onto.

"How horrible it was….Mary- Mary was…Lily, James and I along with Sirius…We all suspect Mary was touched…In that way, you know?"

"What?" Lily felt her stomach flop, she felt sick inside very suddenly. "M-Mulciber?"

"Yes," said Remus. "It was him," he added softly.

Lily's fair complexion paled, the pink and rosy colour vanishing to a bilious green. But nevertheless, she was glad Remus divulged this. It was better than remaining ignorant. But still what should she tell Mary now?

Lily crossed her arms, feeling inside a mixture of paralyzing fear, anger and sadness. "Well I wasn't there…Unlike you and your chums, I couldn't guess it was rape!"

It sounded so strange to say it so boldly and she had almost been loud. Luckily nobody was around to hear it.

"We don 't know for sure what it was…I'm sure he tried to though."

"Then it was only an attempt," said Lily gratefully. "But what a disgusting prank really! I can't believe that-" But she stopped ranting. She was going to say she couldn't believe Severus was a friend of Mulciber's. But she did really there was a whole lot more to it than just the Dark Arts, she wondered if Snape understood this as well. Somehow she doubted it. But how frustrating this was!

Lupin was sensitive enough not to prompt Lily for information. He let her to her thoughts, as she gazed into the fiery flames.

"I wish I'd been there. Unlike you boys, I could have been in the changing rooms and cursed Mulciber out!"

Lupin remained quiet. But then suddenly remembered, "Dumbledore told us not to confront Mulciber. Now I've told James and Sirius time and again to listen to our headmaster. He is right. We can't go attacking Mulciber and let us not forget, he probably does have Death Eater relations…"

Lily actually shivered. She hated to hear about the Death Eaters.

"Whatever you do, Lily…Don't go after Mulciber for this. It was actually part of the reason James didn't want you to know. He knows how you feel about your friend."

"Right…"

Lily found a resurgence of anger at Lupin telling her what to do. But she didn't retaliate. Lupin's advice was true; there wasn't anything she could do to change the situation.

Note: Please review! I hope you're excited for the next installment.


	11. The Slytherin Seeker

**Please review!**

Chapter Eleven: The Slytherin Seeker

All night Lily agonized over telling her friend the truth of what had happened to her. The birds were singing gaily and there was a gray line between the curtains at the coming of dawn. The mist from the foggy air gathered on the windowsill. Lily slipped into a doze. But she hardly got any sleep until she remembered it was Saturday. Her Potions O.W.L. wasn't till Monday…Briefly she thought of Severus, but then fell into peaceful slumber. She would not stir until noon.

Eagles rosettes decked one side of the Great Hall in dazzling colours of blue and bronze. Across the Great Hall, the Slytherin emblem was emblazoned on people's chests, a silver snake set on a green coat of arms, with fancy gold words flashing, "Toujours Pur."

Severus had an almost impish scowl. "Do you know who thought of those coat of arms?"

"Regulus. Our seeker is determined to win for the pride of Slyth-"

"Of Black…of the house of Black you mean," Severus said savagely. If there was one thing Severus had noticed about Regulus it was his absolute dedication to his family, and he added,"He should have been a Hufflepuff!"Avery and Mulciber laughed harshly at Snape's snide remark.

Severus watched withholding his repugnance at the Seeker of Slytherin strutting down the aisles. He caught everyone's eyes much like James. But then again he was a Seeker of a very different sort from his Gryffindor counterpart. Despite the similarities Severus did not hold Regulus in as much contempt as James.

Mulciber suddenly announced to Severus and Avery, "I hope SHE falls off her broom next Saturday's match."

Severus looked across the Great Hall where Mary Macdonald was sitting alone, contentedly munching on Cornflakes. Severus was a little surprised not to find Lily accompanying her friend.

Suddenly a lone owl swooping over their heads distracted the three boys. Avery jumped unexpectedly to catch the small parcel that had fallen onto the table. He tore at it excitedly; Snape and Mulciber leaned in close, both eager.

"I asked my uncle if we could meet the Dark Lord…."

Both Mulciber and Snape gave their friend scorching looks. "Sorry – I had to keep it a secret…Especially considering I'd probably get your hopes up for nothing. As far as we know Voldemort is a busy man isn't he?"

Mulciber and Snape looked slightly mollified at Avery's explanation.

"Well – what'd your uncle say?" Pressed Mulciber impatiently.

"Tonight…" said Avery with an unmistakable gleam of excitement in his eyes.

"Are you serious? Lord Voldemort is going to meet us?" Mulciber looked shocked.

Snape had gone very quiet and thoughtful. He did not know what to make of it, but his curiosity was never lacking, "Where?" he asked.

"Uncle Gustav said we should wait by the Forbidden Forest and to bring brooms! Perhaps the Death Eaters are going to take us somewhere….You DO want to meet him Snape?"

"Of course I do – It's not every day the Dark Lord – would – I mean - I'm all for it!"

The three boys spent every chance of the remaining day excitedly chattering in low voices about their imminent meeting with darkness and the ultimate destinies they shared. Even during the Quidditch match they could not stop obsessing over meeting Voldemort and his Death Eaters even though the match was quite exciting.

"Hang on, Avery…" said Snape as he watched the match in close-up through the binoculars that his rich Pureblood friend had bought him a few years ago. "You said we've got to have brooms for the occasion…"

"Yeah, so…"

"I haven't got one!" said Snape indignantly. Snape had wanted to broach the subject earlier, but out of irritation it erupted now. He couldn't help sounding like a spoiled brat but there was no way he'd stoop so low as to ask Avery to buy one.

"That's right. Neither do I," added in Mulciber. "I know – we'll go down to the changing rooms and pilfer them out of the lockers."

A little while later, Snape, Avery and Mulciber trespassed the Slytherins boys' changing rooms. It wasn't really very difficult to do as they were Slytherins afterall, and therefore nobody noticed or suspected anything out of the ordinary. Snape had his wand out, concentrating on casting the spells to open the locker doors. They were planning to return the brooms as soon as possible as Slytherin would need them for the final match against Gryffindor.

"How are you three fine gentlemen getting along today? Avery, Snape, Mulciber, can I do something for you?"

Snape whipped around abruptly, his hand shook where he was holding his wand. He jumped at the familiar sound of Regulus's pleasant speech.

"Oh, Regulus…" said Avery with a confidence that was unusual for him to evince. It was a trait borne from his Pureblood, aristocratic upbringing. "We're just here to invite you to an important meeting."

"Oh really? What is it?" said Regulus sounding genuinely interested. He took another step closer to the three, and stopped, leaning lazily over the locker doors. He didn't seem to realize they were there for a less than noble reason. Regulus was handsome but in a different way than Sirius for he looked more like the so-called "pretty boy." But like Sirius he had dark hair, though it was straight and he was considerably shorter than Sirius but this did nothing to counteract his good looks, probably because he was fit from his Quidditch training.

"A meeting with the Dark Lord is convening in the Forbidden Forest. My uncle is going to be there and probably other Death Eaters maybe even another Black. Show up at nine by the edge of the Dark forest – I guess it'll be near the gamekeeper's place. See you then…"

Regulus looked just as shocked as Mulciber had and what was worse, he was also positively delighted. Avery wouldn't have told him if he hadn't known Black was an ardent supporter of the great Lord Voldemort and was planning to join the Death Eaters soon as he left school.

"Oh, and we all need to bring brooms for some reason or other. Would you mind sharing your team's with Mulciber and Snape? I already have one for me, but they haven't ones for themselves…"

Snape felt himself colour at the implication of his indigenous roots and he refused to look at Regulus out of embarassment. "Yes. Not the best brooms, for you know how our team covets theirs. I doubt they'd be happy to find they were taken even if only for a night. Severus and Mulciber will have to settle for an older model. Here…. Shooting stars should be good enough."

Severus shrugged carelessly, taking the broom in his arms, and intoned, "Fine…" For the time being, he'd rather feel indifferent at the idea of flying a broom. Nobody need suspect how much he detested flying on what he considered such a silly contraption.

By sunset Severus was a solitary figure by the Black Lake….

**  
NOTE: Regulus will also feature. I hope you like it.**


	12. Darkness Falls

**Please review!**

Chapter Eleven: Darkness Falls  


Severus remained alone by the Black Lake consumed by his thoughts. Nobody paid him much mind, despite there was so many on the other side. Snape did his best to avoid the beech tree because of the awful memory of what had happened there.

After a long time of wandering the bank alone he saw another solitary figure approach. Severus's eyes squinted under the harsh sun in disbelief and then sudden excitement and hopefulness. It was Lily!

She was wearing flowers in her hair. She did not smile when she saw Snape but there could be no doubt she wanted to speak to him. Snape found himself transfixed at the sight of her, the way her hips swayed over her tight-fitting robes.

"So who won the match?"

"Slytherin", said Snape, attempting bravely to sound cheery, as if the conversation by the portrait hole hadn't happened. Even though it had just been last night.

"Hmmm…" said Lily who hadn't bothered to ask anybody else about the match. "Guess that means they'll be playing against my house."

"Guess so…" said Snape. But it was the things going unsaid between Severus and Lily that mattered right now. "

"So why are you here…talking to the likes of me?"

"Because…" and Lily's face turned red whether it was with anger or embarrassment Snape couldn't tell. "I need to know something, Severus. And you better tell me right now!"

"Okay. Whatever it is, I'll be honest with you, Lily. I swear."

She suddenly walked a few feet away, Severus followed her, kicking up stones and dirt, shuffling along languidly. Lily turned her head away, looking out towards the Black Lake, so that Snape could only see her the sideline profile of her face.

"Why'd you call that a laugh for the other day? I mean, how could you?!"

"What are you talking about Lily?"

"What happened to my friend, Mary of course! How could you say that's funny, just like what Mulciber probably thinks?"

Severus's face turned red with deep shame. He wondered how much Lily knew. Did she somehow know he'd been there?

"You knew he intended to rape and you thought that was funny?"

He desperately tried to explain, "No! That wasn't what I was doing! I-I- didn't want you to guess – what - what it was. It was for your sake!"

But Lily didn't buy that notion and she seemed to boil over into ever greater wounded feelings. "Besides being a disgusting pervert, you're a liar – a nasty liar Severus!"

But it had been true. Almost. He'd wanted to protect Lily's innocence by keeping the terrible truth away from her. Yet his motive had been selfish, if only to hide his guilt at being involved in it. That was the real reason he'd called it a laugh.

"Well…Don't you dare say anything about this. Especially because I've chosen not to tell her. She's my friend and I think I'll give her peace of mind by keeping her in the dark. Afterall, maybe ignorance really is bliss."

Snape listened and pretended to agree but could hardly care for what happened to Mary Macdonald. All that mattered was what was occurring between he and Lily right now. Snape felt a twang of surging panic when Lily abruptly stepped away to leave him. "Lily I'm not like him! Let me show you what I can be….Just give me one more chance."

"Alright. Fine. What is it?"

"Sit down on the bank and I'll show you."

Lily listened to Snape without any complaints and sat down on the earth, drawing her ankles up to her knees, her hands at her sides. Snape with his gangly limbs kneeled down a few feet in front of her.

"Keep your eyes open and I'll show you a trick of the mind." Snape did not expect she'd ever heard of Legilimency, and in fact, Lily hadn't.

"I suppose I trust you enough," murmured Lily, despite hearing him refer to whatever it was as a trick.

Snape's eyes were dark tunnels. They stared so intently into Lily's green eyes and suddenly Lily couldn't see her surroundings anymore. They were clouded over and she shut her eyes. She was somewhere else, suspended in Snape's dream-like state of desire. A vision was in her mind like a moving picture with Snape as the director, calling the shots.

Lily had no control. She could see herself and Snape there. A Lily that looked exactly like her, but wasn't her, sighed. In his mind Snape could feel the quick breath pass the lips he'd always longed to kiss, both in his dreams and in life.

Snape drew closer, his penetrating gaze going deeper into the recesses of Lily's mind. And suddenly he was kissing her as she lay, similar to herself in the same position in reality. She almost thought she could feel his hands on her, the smell of him, the taste of a foreign tongue in her mouth. Yet nothing physical was actually happening.

The dream-like vision went on. The Snape in her mind spoke sweet nothings like that of a poet. But it was dark poetry, almost like a Dark spell entrancing her. And Lily watched in awe as she saw herself being kissed tenderly and possessively by the boy, nibbling at her neck.

Meanwhile, the real Snape shifted position until he was directly over Lily's body, and his mind fantasized about penetrating her body, and he directed it through Legilimency into Lily's mind. The real Lily was scared, and she kept her eyes tightly shut, still, but Severus had already broken her barriers.

The Snape in Lily's mind suddenly stopped kissing, and with firm, but gentle hands reached out to hold her wrists down. The present time Snape felt euphoria at the mere thought of taking Lily's shirt off and decided to reveal that to Lily's mind. He imagined feeling the sensual feel, as he slipped his hands down to caress her nipples. He could see the golden hue of her breasts shining in the light of the vision, and her red hair gleamed over her slender shoulders. All of this created warmth for them to share, a warmth that encased them in the moment.

He imagined the way she would thrust back her head and moan and whimper from his pull on her. It excited Severus when he heard the false Lily moaning his name, a sound sweeter than life itself.

He directed himself in Lily's mind through his Legilimency power, to watch himself slide her pants off. The precious moment of intimacy was finally being fully realized. He would claim her as his with the completeness of the act that she would never allow in wakefulness.

Lily opened her eyes and was appalled to see Severus's black ones burning with lust. He looked so curious, but almost mad. Instantly Snape's vision faded into dark blackness. The warmth and elation was replaced by the usual feeling of loneliness, that once again filled the void that was Snape's world.

"Severus stop! I don't like it!"

Snape sighed at these disapproving words. The pleasure he'd created in the vision assuaged his body in the present moment, and yet he was incomplete without her compliance. The vision had been good, but he wanted more. Wanted Lily for real. In the flesh.

Snape withdrew from her mind and somehow Lily found the strength, the confidence to move. Quickly Snape stood up as well, smiling with his upper lip curling from his newfound pleasure. Lily looked even more horrified at the sight of his pleasure. She found herself reaching a hand out to Snape, cutting a slap across his face as hard as she could manage.

She shouted to Snape almost hysterical, "I- I don't even know you anymore! You've changed or maybe-"

"Maybe what?" intervened Snape sharply. He was disappointed she had not enjoyed that. He whispered, "Lily I'd never hurt you. I would be gentle."

But Lily seemed not to hear this. "Nothing. I'm out of here."

The last Snape saw of Lily was her frightened and pale face and then she turned, her robes whipping behind her as she ran back inside the castle. Snape was alone again. He stared forlornly in the direction of the beech tree where the fallout with Lily had started a few days ago. But now this was almost worse than that, for he finally understood that all of it was his fault. His final attempt to take Lily, to have Lily had been desperate. But he knew it was the last resort. And he had failed.

The day was dying, dusk was imminent. Snape stared into the Black Lake as the sun faded, reflected in the water with a thousand points of light dancing. And Snape could feel his identity fading with everyday. The Dark Mark was coming closer to him. He saw his reflection. It didn't take much effort to imagine a mask on his face in addition to the black robes he was already in. Imagining this, he almost looked like a Death Eater. His future self, reflected in the water stared at him dimly. It was the Black Lake, acting as a huge swath of a black mirror. The black mirror was like a crystal ball, projecting Snape's grim future.

At least she'd never discovered that Snape had been watching. To make himself feel better, he found himself laughing at the thought of that silly, little girlfriend of Lily's. He could laugh at what happened to Macdonald, for it was funny and pathetic how Lily called Mary's ignorance a state of bliss.

He felt himself dying and being reborn into something new. Snape could hardly wait to meet Voldemort this evening. After all that had happened between him and Lily, he should in the very least, become what Lily expected.

**  
Note: Please review.**


	13. Temptation in the Forbidden Forest

**Please review! I found this chapter difficult to write, for some reason I don't really enjoy this scene. But maybe you will!**

Chapter Thirteen: Temptation in the Dark Forest  


Black shapes in hoods ran into the Dark forest, camouflaging into the landscape of dark foliage. Through darkening twilight, the only luminescent thing they past were Unicorns. Detecting the four wizards, the Unicorns moved rapidly away, their white bodies shining like silver blades.

The forest grew thicker and thicker, the undergrowth heavy under their feet. Soon there were too many branches to pull apart with magic, for it would take too long. Their faces got dirty and minor scratches were on their hands from the thorny branches they whipped out of the way.

"Come on!" complained Mulciber in a husky voice. "It's taking too long….Why didn't your Uncle tell us where the meeting place is?"

And just as Mulciber started to complain, there was a red light that shot into the sky. The red light came propelling up from the trees, and settled there, mixing with the stars.

"That must be a signal," said Avery, hopefully. "Do you think that's so, Snape?"

He nodded. "You're probably right if it isn't Venus. It looks like we've still got a long way to go."

"Yes, I agree with that," chimed in Regulus.

Snape was right. It took nearly a quarter of an hour to reach the gleaming red light. Staying in the same area, it rotated steadily, so they knew it wasn't a planet. They could feel the silence of the deep recesses of the forest pressing in. Severus had the spooky feeling that many eyes were watching them, and his mind filled with images of monstrous, dangerous creatures.

"There they are…." muttered Snape. The three boys could see several men in the distance, all gathered around in a tight circle formation.

The boys approached apprehensively, clutching their broomsticks, each forgetting about their friends and just thinking of themselves. The circle opened up a little, and Snape, Avery, and Mulciber along with Regulus Black stepped in front.

A tall figure with gleaming red eyes and skull-white skin was standing in the center, wearing a long black cloak, his face almost shrouded by his hood.

"Welcome, boys. You shall kneel before us now in demonstration of your devotion to Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters"

Snape, Avery, Black, and Mulciber complied almost at once, their shaking knees almost knocking into each other.

Voldemort waited a brief moment and then walked closer, until he towered above them. One by one, he would look over each boy that had found the courage to come.

First he came to Mulciber. "Tell me your name?"

"Mulciber! Maxwell Mulciber, M-My Lord."

"Thank-you….And is Mulciber a Pure-blood name?" Voldemort asked the question, even though he already knew it was not.

Mulciber's face went red with shame. "I-I am only Half-blood."

"We can forgive this confession, Mulciber. For now at least…."

Voldemort went on to Avery next who was just as bashful. "Ah, and it was your Uncle who arranged this little meeting with me, was it not, young Avery?"

Avery was eager to obey and enthusiastic. "Yes, Master."

"You shall do well in my service. In future…" And Voldemort, almost affectionately brushed a stray hair out of Avery's eyes, getting a closer look at him before he moved on.

"And you are related to the Blacks. Is this not the truth?"

"Yes, My Lord," said Regulus, his chest puffing with pride. "I came tonight for none other's benefit than for myself and that includes my family."

"And you shall have it," hissed Voldemort automatically.

Lastly, was Snape kneeling there looking the most like the outsider. The boy was the thinnest and almost scrawny in appearance. "And who may you be?"

"Severus. Severus Snape, My Lord. I am son to Eileen Prince. My mother was Pure," he added guardedly. Already, Snape was determined to prove himself.

"Yes, and what an unfortunate circumstance it is. What to be married to a Muggle when Pure of blood…"

Voldemort looked to his Death Eaters after this sardonic comment was said, and they laughed cohesively. Snape couldn't help but wonder how the Dark Lord knew of his roots.

"This one intrigues me most of all…." Snape braced himself as Voldemort stared keenly into his black eyes. And when Voldemort looked at Snape, he did not realize it, but he saw pain behind the mask Snape wore, yet his Occlumency shielded his thoughts. Voldemort wrongly interpreted it as hatred. "Ah…I see in your eyes that I have already won you over, Severus. Good."

Voldemort told the boys to rise and soon enough, they were conversing amongst the Death Eaters almost as equals, discovering what it was like to be one of them. They even showed them the tattoos; indelible black burns imprinted on the backs of their left forearms.

Before long, the group was having two separate conversations with the Dark Lord acting as interlocutor. Avery along with his Uncle, Regulus and an elderly wizard, named Abraxas Malfoy were in one group.

The other was Lucius, Mulciber and Snape, sharing reminiscence or two about their pervious years at Hogwarts when they had been friends.

Mulciber felt his friendship with Lucius Malfoy had been renewed, yet Snape wasn't so sure his had. Mulciber was so bold enough as to ask, "So Lucius….After all the hard work is done, what do you for fun? Do the Death Eaters get any women to loosen yourselves with?"

Lucius laughed delightedly, and yet his eyes remained cold, like two chips of blue ice. Voldemort looked expectantly at Lucius to answer as he saw fit; yet the Dark Lord wasn't smiling.

Voldemort became impatient with Lucius's good-humour. "Our friend, Mulciber has asked a question, Lucius. I expect you to give a straight answer."

"Oh, yes. Our Master, provides us plenty of women on special occasion."

Mulciber's eyes gleamed ferociously, fevered. "Do you use the Imperius curse on them?"

"If need be. Otherwise…We get what we want through forcing ourselves on them without the Curse. We rather prefer to have whores begging for it at our feet…Begging for pleasure, or worse our mercy!"

Mulciber laughed a harsh guttural note. Snape was not interested, but if it had been any other day he would have been. But today, all he felt was sorry, sorry for the one and only girl who could make him feel so horrible. He regretted his failure to seduce Lily by the lake earlier.

"I could not venture near Dumbledore's school and risk exposure. We are an ephemeral organization. But in time, shall be the centre of things. In time." Voldemort was explaining this to Avery and Regulus and they listened, enraptured.

Moments later, the reason why Avery's Uncle had told him and his friends to bring brooms was finally known. Voldemort was going to take them all to a place where he would perform his magic.

Swaying from side to side, Snape was on a mediocre Shooting Star. Whilst Mulciber also had a Shooting star, he was disappointed to see they were the last ones in the pack. Everyone else flew ahead on better brooms. Snape was shocked to see that Voldemort flew unaided, without anything, leading the way up through flight to the highest vantagepoint.

They got to higher and higher grounds so rapidly Snape's stomach almost turned over and he feared he was going to retch. He hated flying, and knew he was a ruckus on a broom. The last time he'd been on one was in the Fall of his First year and he'd rather not recall all the embarrassing lessons.

Voldemort had led the Death Eaters and the boys to the highest cliff in the Dark Forest. It was a exceedingly high mountain, the highest one in sight.

Snape landed swiftly on his feet, and stowed his broom in a clump of bushes. He watched Voldemort go alone to the precipice, throw his head back, evidently basking in something. The natural world of the forest seemed to have grown silent.

Snape finally felt the awe at being in Lord Voldemort's presence. It was all so compelling; that the very ground felt consecrated. Snape looked around, and saw Hogwarts by night. The edifice of the great structure was breathtaking with the great Black Lake shimmering at the perimeter of the castle. Briefly, Snape remembered what it was like to see Hogwarts for the very first time.

All of them stood together on the summit, a prodigious rock that was as smooth as a giant stone tablet. Far below, the trees shook, writhing like serpents, and suddenly there was bursts of fiery spells exploding in all directions. It probably woke the forest for miles.

It was Voldemort's display of his power. Nobody understood how he had done, but all were exhilarated by it. The boys' faces, as opposed to the Death Eater's were especially alight with wonder.

Everything had been whirling in motion when it was put to a standstill like the eye of a storm. In a tight grip of control, Voldemort held the forest at his mercy.

He turned to face them all, and finally released his hold over the nearest surroundings. Yet they were now held in a state of being moved by his every word. He had shown them a taster of his power and glory as the greatest Dark sorcerer alive.

"Spells of such power….You cannot begin to imagine!"

They reveled some more in the moment. Snape hungered for power, as did all the others to the point that it was a terrible lust, a greed that ensnared them body and soul.

Mulciber was suddenly quite bold. He inquired, "My Lord, show us more fruits of your endeavours in the Dark Arts. Perhaps you can turn the stars off and fill us with the void of darkness!"

Voldemort reacted quickly and in anger. "What a stupid, foolish remark! You will be silent!" The Death Eaters meanwhile were muttering indistinct sneers about Mulciber.

Voldemort at once raised his wand and in a flash, Mulciber was transfigured into an ass. As this slovenly creature, he looked more idiotic than ever. "He will learn to keep his mouth shut when he has nothing sensible to say!"

After a moment, they did not look at Mulciber anymore, yet he remained in the form of an ass. They simply ignored his low neighs, pleas to be released from the indignity no doubt.

"My son shall succeed me as a School Governor," said Abraxas, nodding to Lucius. "Yet we are in Lord Voldemort's debt for he shall help us."

Lucius nodded, and spoke to Voldemort. "My Lord – I do not understand it - but I know you are not keen on being Minister for Magic. Then, perhaps as your loyal Death Eater, that title will be mine one day?"

But Snape was also very excited by the promises of power. He interrupted, "And what of Hogwarts, My Lord? Will you one day claim it as yours?"

"Yes. It shall not be Dumbledore's domain forever," said Voldemort firmly. "And when that time comes, I shall need a new headmaster." It seemed like this moment was foreshadowing Snape's headmaster days, as for the first time ever, Snape could envision himself at the helm of a powerful position like headmaster and he wanted it.

"All these things I shall give you, if you will fall down and worship me."

Voldemort came closer, away from the edge of the cliff. The trees sighed, hissing again like serpents. The Dark Lord seemed to unmask the full extent of his character onto the boys for the first time. Snape found the gall to stare into his serpent-like face. And in doing so, he saw an evil thing, a putrid being.

One by one, all except Mulciber kissed the hem of his robes.

**  
NOTE: I don't know if any of you noticed the biblical allusion to Jesus' temptation. It is very similar. I used this for inspiration, but it really does fit. There are still several more interesting scenes to this story! **


	14. Dark Wanderings

**Please review! Sorry I didn't update in awhile. I was working on other projects such as my story, "The Dark Gryffindor" which I finished! I might decide to finish this story soon. This is going to be the focus now. Yet for all its drama, unfortunately it only comes to me slowly. Anyway this is the climax of the story below. Snape comes to a turning point here. **

**Chapter Fourteen: Dark Wanderings **

The boys found the journey back to school much longer than it was going in. There was no longer the blue glow of twilight that had made their shadows visible like before. Now the Dark Forest was pitch-black. Even as they skimmed the treetops on their brooms, and enjoyed the cool caress of the windy night air, they were filled with inexplicable fear. Perhaps it's origin lied in meeting Lord Voldemort.

They had no other choice but to enter the grounds on foot. The risk of being seen was something that must be avoided at all costs.

The hooded forms of Regulus, Avery, Mulciber and Snape carried on as fast as they could. But even under cover of darkness they felt they might attract attention if they moved too swiftly.

Snape lagged behind the rest and merely observed his cohorts with his usual detached reserve. They were coming out of the last bit of forest; a silvery glade that shone under the crescent moon.

Avery poked Mulciber's shoulder in a brotherly fashion. "What the heck was that like, being turned into a jack-ass? Huh?"

The boys chortled at bringing up the most humorous aspect of the encounter. Even Snape from the sidelines clearly depicted a smirk and he snorted. The boys continued to laugh almost crazily. Mulciber turned slightly red as he felt his dangerous temper rise.

"You asked him to perform an impossible feat!" Exclaimed Regulus, who was younger than all of them, as he was a third year. "It served you right to be humiliated for it."

"I was only testing the boundaries. I want to know how far he's gone!"

"Further than any wizard," answered Regulus automatically. Regulus was already impassioned. It was obvious he was going to be a great supporter.

Avery added, "I thought Voldemort was interesting. Interesting name for such a strange bloke. Don't ya think?"

The boys continued to foolishly laugh at his name. It did not inspire the fear it would one day generate, not yet. And they wondered things about the Dark Lord. Where had he come from? Had he ever been a boy like them? Probably but quickly they came to the conclusion that it was almost impossible to imagine Voldemort's youth.

Only Regulus and Snape were more subdued. They kept their thoughts to themselves. Snape was evidently brooding over something, keeping his head down. Regulus was lost in his selfish plans for how the Black family would benefit from his joining the Death Eaters. Avery and Mulciber for some reason or other could not stop laughing.

They were trudging up the hills towards a convenient back entrance when Regulus and Severus had an argument. Casting a critical eye on Snape, Regulus spoke airily of a very uncomfortable truth. "Severus may be talented but he failed to make his mark on this occasion. I doubt the Dark Lord will remember his name."

Mulciber and Avery gaped at Regulus. Clearly Black didn't understand the trio's dynamic.

Snape felt a twinge of anger and extreme vexation towards the Pureblood.

"And what makes you so sure of it?" Snape asked icily. His black eyes flashed down at Regulus condescendingly.

Regulus did not quail under the sharp gaze of the upperclassman; Snape's hooked nose pronounced even then. "Well your mother married a muggle. That's trash in his mind, of course. For any Pureblood really, marrying a muggle is synonymous with creating nothing."

Snape's hands closed around his wand in his robes. He didn't like Regulus insulting his mother AND he alluded to his own existence as meaningless. And yet that wasn't what Regulus had intended, it was just a unilateral truth for him. He hadn't meant it as a vicious remark. He was blinded by the prejudice instilled in him since birth.

Shadowy clouds past over the moon, obscuring the last sliver of light. Snape was squaring up to Regulus now as he considered which hex would teach him a lesson most effectively, and hopefully squash his excessive Pureblood pride.

"I challenge you to a duel Black! Here – now. I'll make…" Snape sized up his two best friends. "Mulciber my Second. Get ready! We're gonna find out who's really the better Wizard on skill alone. No regards for purity of blood!"

Snape was sure he'd win and so, wanted Regulus to take the bait. Mulciber went to stand beside Snape. But Mulciber behaved most surprisingly of all. Grabbing Snape's forearms, he held them from behind Snape's back. Snape tried to resist but found Mulciber to be much too strong.

Mulciber said, "Mate - It's not worth fighting over. Us and Regulus - we're on the same side. We're all friends here. Through Black's means we can get in much easier. We're all going to be Death Eaters right? Let's not be in-fighting before we're even chosen for the Mark!"

Regulus was caught off guard by Snape's offence and wasn't ready to duel at all. The insensitive aristocrat really was shocked by Snape's reaction and he was not one to make a rash decision.

Too nervous to even draw his wand, Regulus held his hands up in appeasement. Sounding polite he added, his voice soft and diplomatic, "I meant no harm by it, Severus. Whatever it is that caused you such distress….I frankly do not understand. And….you're a brilliant wizard. Shake on it like old chaps then?"

Mulciber released Snape's hands. Slowly Snape stowed his wand away and then shook hands weakly with Regulus who still wore that clueless smile. Snape's face remained fixated in a dark scowl.

The boys went on once again chattering excitedly about meeting the likes of the Malfoys. Snape lurked behind once more, with the ever-increasing realization that he was an outsider. It made him worry that he'd be an outsider with the Death Eaters too.

Regulus was dominating the flow of conversation. "My cousin has an arranged marriage with Lucius…So even before she gets out of Hogwarts, Narcissa has her place made for her! And my other cousin – she's a lot older. Cousin Bellatrix is already a Death Eater. A girl! Can you believe that?…Yet I hear she's one of the best. I should seek advice from her. She's proven herself and definitely supports Pureblood supremacy and all that…."

Regulus lingered suddenly. He was looking thoughtfully at Snape, debating whether to say whatever else was on his mind. Avery and Mulciber watched.

Avery added, "You know, when Voldemort comes to power…It will only be us Purebloods that matter. Hopefully we'll have it like the old days and keep the Mudbloods out of Hogwarts."

"I couldn't agree more, Avery," said Regulus.

Mulciber smiled slyly. "Snape might disagree. He's been hankering after that Evans girl for years now. Haven't you?"

Mulciber's eyes slanted, roving sideways to look at Snape peripherally. There was that annoying look of awareness on Mulciber's ruddy face.

Snape said nothing, knowing it wasn't something he could deny. Yet he couldn't bear to admit his crush just now.

"The Dark Lord won't understand the desire for her," stated Avery candidly.

Snape finally spoke. "I believe even Voldemort can make an exception. I should be able to persuade him. Slughorn says Lily's talented so perhaps the Dark Lord will accept her!"

The boys laughed at this very unlikely possibility. It sounded so harsh. From Snape's perspective they were taunting him and it bothered him that they thought the idea so ludicrous. Snape did not.

The boys' laughter died out as soon Snape started speaking again. "Lily might see me as an adventurous sort….a hero. Once she realizes the power Voldemort has and that I'm on his side…."

But Avery and Mulciber snorted skeptically. For once Snape was wrong and they were right.

Regulus meanwhile was looking at Snape with almost disdain now. Regulus said reprovingly, "The Death Eaters are dedicated to the cause, Severus. In other words the cause against the lesser kinds. Accepting a Muggle-born would ruin everything. But if YOU favour one of those unworthy Mudbloods…It will spell disaster for the entire group! And…Ruins your chances, I'd think. I suppose you don't want to join Voldemort."

"I know my own mind Black! I shall be joining him sooner than you." And Snape suddenly turned on his friends. "And I will no longer help you attack Mary. Never again, Mulciber."

"What?" said Mulciber, hotly denying what he just heard. "What!"

"You heard me." It was taking tremendous courage to say this. Besides them rejecting Snape's desire of having Lily and snubbing and laughing at him all night, Snape also had a grievance against Mulciber for refusing to help him when he needed it. Why couldn't Mulciber have returned the favour and help him best Regulus in a duel?

Snape fled in a rage of inner turmoil burgeoning within the interior haven of his mind. Distantly he heard Mulciber's shouts to come back. Obviously he was disappointed Snape wasn't going to plan the next attack and was leaving Mulciber on his own.

Raindrops started to fall, stabbing Snape's cheeks. Snape carried on alone up to the castle. He felt more alone than ever. There was no comfort anymore. His friends were ultimately useless, Lily had rejected him and Dumbledore was just an old man who couldn't stop the Dark Lord's ascension. Only the starlight offered solace. For a second Snape looked at the sky in almost supplication. He wished the stars could guide his destiny. A map to in which somehow it would lead him to his heart's true destination: Lily, and simultaneously linking him to the Death Eaters.

As Snape jogged alone, his schoolrobes billowed and he could feel his identity fading again. After meeting Voldemort he was troubled by what being in his service meant. How could he live and choose to die by Voldemort alone? To serve him and nothing else, even to forget about Lily? To thrive on pure power.

His heart wrenched and ached for Lily. He longed to feel strength yet Snape was weakened by the night's events. For the next few days he withdrew from his friends. There was so much left to defend. "I would defend her even if she's…. Muggle-born. She's a special case. It wouldn't matter." These were Snape's determined thoughts, and he made sure to keep them from Mulciber and Avery.

NOTE: Originally I wasn't expecting this to be so long. I personally love how Regulus came to have such a large purpose in the story. I didn't foresee that conflict coming until I was writing the scene!


	15. Dark Wanderings 2

**Please review! I am saddened that I got no reviews for the last chapter. Please, please say something! I will respond personally to any of you. There is only a few chapters left! I promise this story will be finished. I cannot make promises for all my stories, but this one is my priority. **

**Continuation of….**

**Chapter Fourteen: Dark Wanderings**

*****

One night not long after meeting Death Eaters in the Dark Forest Mulciber had an idea on how he was going to implement his plan without Snape's help. Unexpectedly he bolted out of the Slytherin Common room and much to the consternation of his friends, left them without explanation.

For a long, long time he waited in the midst of the stairs leading towards the portrait hole of Gryffindor tower. He was sure there had to be a time when Mary Macdonald would come out and he was determined to seize that opportunity. If he had to, Mulciber would do this every night for the rest of term.

But Mulciber did not have to return another evening. As he was lucky the very first night he tried this.

He felt his heart race with adrenaline and orgasmic excitement when after lurking around for nearly three hours he finally spotted the girl leaving her Common room. And most ideally, she was completely and utterly alone.

Mulciber staggered up the stairs, almost forgetting to jump over a trick step but remembering just in time. From a distance he doggedly pursued her down a corridor. Mulciber knew it led to a secret hideaway behind a tapestry. It was the perfect place to rape and Imperiuse!

Mulciber grinned malevolently as the girl went behind the tapestry and not long after he followed her in. There was another staircase that led to the lower floors, and Mulciber was pleased to see she hadn't taken it.

Instead she headed towards a sequestered room that veered off to the right. It was a dead end. The ideal place to corner somebody. Breathlessly Mulciber ran forward to charge in there and overpower her. Afterwards he planned to successfully Confund her to forget the incident. Excitedly he rubbed his palms together getting primed for the job.

But Mulciber stopped. He heard another voice from inside the room, a low voice that was distinctively male. Mulciber's whole body sagged with disappointment and he leaned against the wall listening. He couldn't believe his opportunity was slipping right through his fingers! But he wouldn't leave yet. His curiosity was piqued and if he was sighted and they spotted him. So be it. He had to know what was going on.

Mulciber narrowed his eyes and cocked his head slightly as he heard the male voice ask, "I wanted to ask you if you'd like to go to the dance with me?"

Mulciber couldn't see anything, but Mary was blushing. She still had a huge crush on Sirius Black, which almost everybody who knew Mary was aware of. But now she could barely speak. She was so surprised!

"I – I it's just….I was really down lately. Maybe cause my best friend, Lily Evans already has a date."

Sirius's confidence did not disappear. He prompted Mary again, "So do you want to go with me?"

"I- Yes!"

Mulciber punched the air in frustration. He had wanted to assault Mary but he'd also been planning on Imperiusing her to be his girlfriend so that he could take her to the dance and later laugh at all the people's horrified reactions.

Mary suddenly looked confused. "But why did Lily insist I come out here to find you? I-"

Sirius flashed his usual smile. "I didn't need an audience for this! Besides - I'd be embarrassed if everybody heard – if you had turned me down…."

But that wasn't true, as Sirius being the adept actor he was, was stretching the truth. The real reason he'd set it up here was so they could have an opportunity to be alone. Although never rough or cruel, Sirius was a bit relentless with his girlfriends. He was eager.

Mary felt a slight pressure on the back of her neck as Sirius tilted her face up towards him. His fingers brushed through her hair, and almost involuntarily she swooned.

Sirius put his other hand to rest flat on the wall and lowered his face to kiss her, and shut his kind, twinkling eyes. He breathed in her smell; a whiff of soft lilac infused with sweet honey. Blissfully Sirius closed his eyes with his lips just barely brushing hers.

Gently he started the kiss. Within a few seconds he realized Mary was not responding. So he put his tongue inside. Next Sirius tried to stimulate her further as she still wasn't responding. With his other hand not tangled in her hair, he embraced her. The hand went downward to caress her back all the way to the small of it. He stopped there. Later when he got to know her better he'd have license to touch, squeeze and knead at her more intimate nether regions.

Mary threw her head back. For a second Sirius thought it had been a gesture of both pleasure and surrender. But then she pulled her mouth away from his and at the same time a hand pushed his chest back. Without any emotion she said, "No…I don't like it. Stop it, Sirius."

Instantly Sirius backed away from her, totally respecting her command that he lay off it. He looked at her and suddenly Mary's large blue eyes were shimmering with tears. Slowly they trickled down her cheeks.

Sirius looked disappointed and his playful face crumpled into anguish. He didn't really consider himself a bad snogger. As far as he was concerned, he was highly talented at catching any girl he fancied. He even sometimes joked to himself that he was just as talented at catching a girl as James was at catching the Snitch on the Quidditch field.

"Am I – a bad kisser?"

Mary shook her head. She choked out, "It's just…Oh, I dunno! I don't know what it is! I'm getting upset and I don't even know why! How stupid of me. I can't help it."

Sirius's face suddenly darkened. He had a strong hunch regarding what was all a dither.

"Wh-what? I'm sorry… Can we wait to kiss at the dance? Please, Sirius?"

"Sure…" said Sirius smiling kindly again. With his thumb and forefinger he wiped the fresh tears from the corners of her eyes. In her flustered state, the other tears had already dried on her hot, flushed cheeks. For a second Sirius's face was pained with pity remembering Mary in the hospital wing and suspecting what Mulciber had attempted. But Mary didn't know exactly what it was and he was not about to tell her. Sirius finally understood why his touch might bother her. For the back of Mary's mind undoubtedly associated the intimacy now with coercion and force. However she couldn't consciously recall the memory.

Mary suddenly laughed shakily.

Sirius took his hand in hers as gently as he could. "Let's go down to the kitchens! James told me there's a crate of Fire whiskey in there tonight. Maybe a drink would take your mind off things…And we'll talk. We'll do lots of talking."

"Alright. That sounds fun," said Mary with real conviction.

Hand in hand, Mary and Sirius left the sequestered room. Mulciber had already jumped back behind the tapestry praying they would not find him.

They went off in the other direction, going down the stairs that would lead to the basement still holding hands.

Mulciber peaked out between the folds of the heavy drapery and cursed himself as he watched the backs of them move steadily away. As they disappeared he heard one final echo of Mary's nervous laughter.

Mulciber frowned and kicked his foot hard into the wall. How he wanted to hear that girl screaming for his mercy!

Mulciber turned back and stormed off towards his own Common room. He felt like abandoning his quest. Now that Mary had Sirius to be fucked by, as he assumed would be imminent, she wasn't as valuable. Mulciber felt he had lost and that Sirius had triumphed.

He had nothing else to do now but go back to the Slytherin dungeons. On his journey towards it, a fellow prefect sharply admonished him for running and stomping in the corridors. No points were taken as a fellow prefect cannot take points from another prefect.

When he did reach the privacy he longed for in his dorm, he found Snape there. But at least he was the only inhabitant currently present. And Snape didn't even look up when Mulciber slammed the door behind him and stomped over to his side of the room.

"Still ignoring me, Snape?" Mulciber asked edgily.

Snape paused for a moment. He watched Mulciber with a curious expression in the black eyes. "What's up?"

Mulciber sat down on the edge of his bed and put his two fleshy hands squarely on his kneecaps.

"That bitch – how I'd love to," and Mulciber went on nearly incoherent in his rage. "I'd like to hurt that girl. She's annoyed me. I so longed to Crucio her while I banged her little insides."

"Mary Macdonald you mean?" said Snape blankly trying to make sense of it all. "But what happened just now? Was your plan foiled?"

"Interminably. That Black asked her out! Sirius Black asked her out!"

"So?" said Snape. "All you want is a good fuck. Right?"

"So?" screeched Mulciber sarcastically. "Sirius's hands will be all over her. Plus I wanted to take her to the dance! It'd be hilarious wouldn't it?"

Snape abruptly laughed for a second. Mulciber watched him closely and asked, "So who are you taking Snape?"

"Me?" Snape asked startled. "Nobody. I don't think I'm going. Besides – Maybe I'll be in detention with the headmaster Saturday night." In fact Snape hoped that would be the case. For one thing he felt he deserved the detentions for abetting his friend. And also he didn't think he could stand to see Lily with another boy.

Mulciber leaned back on his pillows and kicked his boots off. They fell onto the floor with a thud. "That's right. I forgot. Or I might be in detention during the dance. Doesn't matter – I'm not in the mood for a different girl," and Mulciber added with defeat, "I won't be taking anybody either."

Snape said nothing. He could care less about this. He went back to his schoolbook.

Mulciber slid his pants off and then ripped his boxers down. Next he eased himself back on the bed clamping two hands on his hanging shaft.

He couldn't help but moan in relief. He was stressed that he didn't get Mary but at least he was masturbating.

Snape looked up and frowned with disgust. Snape went for the rigid hanging around his four-poster and closed them. He thought it was pathetic.

He heard Mulciber sigh again. Mulciber had taken out his wand and closed his eyes, solely abandoned to the release of his anger. He let his mind fixate on the memory of Mary Macdonald sprawled on the grimy shower floor with her ass hanging in the air. He imagined himself grinding into her.

And tonight he had been so close just like his first try. So close…So close. His breathing came out in gasps. But then the remembrance of being thwarted drove Mulciber away from reaching climax. A spurt of semen shot out of his urethra. With his wand he proceeded to siphon it off the sheets.

Note: Please review. I would really appreciate it. Even if it's just a simple, "I enjoyed this." That would be great! And there is always the rating button!


	16. The Quidditch Final

**Please review!**

**Chapter Fourteen: The Quidditch Final**

The Great Hall was ablaze with shards of morning light speckling like wand sparks from the arched windows above. On one side streamed russet coloured red with golden yellow. And across the hall, at another table was sparkling silver and gleaming hues of green.

But Severus Snape was paying the atmosphere no mind. He hadn't even touched his breakfast.

"What? Why aren't you having the bacon and toast?" said Avery. Mulciber watched Snape beadily. "Can't catch your tongue?" said Avery again.

"I've got things on my mind," murmured Snape.

"Yeah, right," said Mulciber with a gruff sardonic tone. "You don't play. So what the deuce is eating you?"

Snape shrugged and forced himself to take a stab at an egg lying in a golden cup beside him.

But his hands went back underneath the table. He was gripping a flagon, a vat of some kind. Snape had not told anybody what he was doing. For the contents inside the container ashamed him deeply.

He eyed Lily Evans and her friends across the Great Hall. Turning her back in another direction, she started a conversation with some of her Hufflepuff acquaintances.

Snape rose rigidly from his seat at the benches. He kept his eyes fixated on Lily.

Before Mulciber or Avery could so much as ask a question, Snape had swept to the other side of the Great Hall. He pushed his way through a crowd of excited Gryffindors until he got near enough to Lily.

Snape looked around very stealthily with a shifty glance. Nobody was looking at him except Mulciber and Avery. And the Marauders weren't in their usual places. As for the rest of them, it simply appeared that he was waiting for Lily to finish talking to the Hufflepuffs. It was now or never.

So Snape sat down at the Gryffindor table and pretended to help himself to some pumpkin juice. Next he took out the container he had hiding. It looked to be just another jug of Pumpkin Juice, as that was what the label said on it. He poured the liquid into Lily's goblet. Smiling with a smug countenance, he would now simply wait for her to take another swig.

Loud laughter erupted right behind him. The Marauders had come sauntering in from the teacher's entrance for Merlin only knows what reason. Snape assumed they were in trouble for another of their petty pranks.

Snape unfortunately had not anticipated them spying his deed from that direction. The Marauders came closer and Snape's face only frowned deeper, so much so that he looked like his sallow skin had somehow bourne wrinkles. There was still the hope that they hadn't seen him do it.

At the unmistakable sounds of Pettigrew's watery squeals, Sirius's roaring chuckles, and James's arrogant banter, Lily turned around hastily.

"Hello, boys. Ready to play today, James?"

"Sure we are, Evans!"

"Good," said Lily. Her finely manicured hands clasped around her golden goblet to take a sip of pumpkin juice. But James suddenly screamed in a panic, "Don't drink it, Evans!"

"What?" said Lily.

"Snape slipped something into your drink. It happened just a second before we arrived."

Lily looked at Snape, whose face was still in a dark frown. He couldn't lie to Lily. "No…Even Snape wouldn't do that. You're lying!"

Snape almost smiled to hear Lily come to his defence again even if it was only indirectly. After all that had happened between them, it was wonderful to sense that their friendship might somehow be rekindled.

Remus put his hands on the goblet and peered down into it, looking thoughtful. He sniffed it, and then prodded his wand with it.

At Lupin's spell, the pumpkin juice was simmering. The potion had been curdled underneath, now rose up to the surface. Spiraling shapes of fluffy white smoke rose in the air, like cirrus clouds, and the mixture turned a pearl-coloured sheen.

"I don't believe it," marveled Lupin, his eyes popping. "I don't believe it! Severus put a love potion in your drink. It's Amortentia."

James's face quickly comprehended his pal's exclamations and his face clouded with dark anger. James looked positively dangerous. "You should be punished for this!"

Lupin intervened quickly. "I think Dumbledore is watching, yes." Lupin looked over his shoulder quickly. "He is....You know, he caned Sirius a few weeks ago for the Whomping Willow debacle...It looks like it's Snape's turn to feel the sting of the cane."

Everybody turned towards the staff table. Dumbledore was on his feet, no longer sitting in his reserved seat, looking sharp. It was plain that he was watching directly and catching onto the scene. Meanwhile, other students were discussing Snape and the connection with slipping Lily Evans a love potion. Or had he actually done it and Lily was under one already? Wild remours, mostly untrue began to circulate the hall.

Snape's face went red with the pain of embarrassment and shame. James was laughing cruelly now. He had the nerve to sidle up to Snape, and sit at his side. "Not so subtle anymore are you Snivellus? Lost your touch? I'm actually surprised by you."

"Shut-up Potter. I would curse you, if I knew I wouldn't be breaking more rules." Snape was not going to take their insults lying down, even if he had been caught doing something foolish!

Sirius joined in, sitting next to Snape on the other side.

Wormtail was still standing behind them all, watching the scene with amusement.

"Have a look," said Remus and he handed the goblet to Lily. As she was a dab hand at Potions, she was sure it was Amortentia once she observed the physical characteristics.

She handed the goblet back to Lupin. The Prefect took it and said nonchalantly, "Love potions are against the rules." And Lupin siphoned the mixture away with his wand.

Lily had not said anything, but was merely staring at Snape with mute disgust. Lupin asked musingly as if Snape wasn't even present, "But what would drive him do it?"

Peter spoke up first. "Ah, it's simple. He's desperate. There isn't a girl who would willingly go with Snivellus to the dance…. So he thought he'd try love potions!"

"I think you're right, Peter," said Sirius, nodding in agreement. Peter smiled ingratiatingly at Sirius.

And Snape retorted, instantly on the defensive. "I don't care for any of the girls you go out with, Black! Lily's the best girl…But she won't date any of you either!"

And for the first time ever Lily stooped low enough to join in with the taunting of Snape or what was now perhaps Snivellus even to her. It was the ultimate sign that she forever wanted him out of her life. And yet all she did was laugh and spitefully said, "Too late, Snape. I've already got a date."

After experiencing a pang of jealously for whatever bloke was taking Lily, Snape bolted up to make his escape. But somebody else was swaggering over to the group: Mulciber. Snape decided to wait and see what he would do.

Mulciber had heard what had occurred. He nodded affably at Snape. But then diverted the attention away from him. He maneuvered his way closest to Mary. His face was painted green for Slytherin. It made Mulciber look more monstrous than ever. "Hope you fall off your broom today! You dirty whore. Maybe you can use your wiles to win the match."

Mary's brow furrowed in confusion. She didn't understand why he couldn't leave her alone; it didn't seem like mere house rivalry, although it was true that Mary was a Chaser for the Gryffindor team. "Go away! You nasty boy. You're the disgusting one!"

Sirius sprung towards Mulciber and grabbed the collar of his crisp linen shirt, underneath Mulciber's robes. "You touch her again, Mulciber and I'll-I'll kill you!"

Mulciber laughed humorlessly. But he was merely concealing his fear. Truth was something about Black's threat seemed too genuine to dismiss.

James went up behind Sirius. "Don't worry. I'm backing you, mate." At these words Snape was reminded of Mulciber's complete lack of solidarity when he had wanted to duel Regulus. It made him resentful to see that James and Sirius had a stronger friendship than he had Mulciber.

Sirius finally relinquished his hold on Mulciber's straining throat. Mulciber looked fit to bursting with rage but would do nothing when it was he versus at least four of them.

"Get away from our table! You fag!" snarled Sirius. And now at Sirius's outburst most of the Great Hall was staring at them all. As a final farewell, Sirius spat at Mulciber's feet.

Snape and Mulciber stole away from them and within a few seconds everybody else went back to their meal. Snape distinctly heard Lily's tinkling laugh and her commenting, "Really! He should be expelled for trying that on me! I'd never of thought it of Severus." Lily saw it as the final gesture, a gauche attempt to woo her. It was pathetic and even droll.

Snape hated to hear this. He'd rather have Lily complain about it in a heated confrontation. It was worse how she was so unfazed that she was taking it as a laugh, and thus reducing Snape to someone to ignore.

Snape who could detect a person's glare from all the way across a room, felt somebody's piercing gaze on his back. He turned and looked up.

The headmaster was looking straight at him. Snape could not tell if he was angry, but he looked to say the least, cold and disapproving. No doubt he listened to the spectacle, it had certainly drawn attention. Snape was sure Dumbledore would learn later of what he'd attempted to give to to Lily. Snape was certain he'd be punished for it during Dumbledore's detention. He assumed he'd be getting caned again. Brewing a love potion was a serious disregard for the rules.

Resignedly, Snape turned to his blank piles of parchment. With quill and ink he started on a picture of a snake. It looked like the serpent worn by those with the Dark Mark on their forearms. From across the table he occasionally looked up and stared at Lily.

Several minutes later breakfast ended. The throng of students and staff left the Great Hall. The crowd teemed down the front steps and then proceeded to march onto the field. There was something feverish about the crowd's mentality today. It wasn't going to be an ordinary game.

**  
NOTE: Please review. I have more interesting things to show. Just a bit more really though and the story will be done. If you can't review there is always the rating button. **


	17. The Quidditch Final 2

**Please review!**

Continuation and final passage of….

Chapter Fourteen: The Quidditch Final  


Snape's heart pounded in his chest with the full monstrosity of fury. James Potter's grimy hands closed over the Golden Snitch!

Snape watched as the Seeker caught it deftly between his fingers, where it nestled in his sweaty palm. And then the Pureblood prat looked up expectantly, knowing he would once again be showered with attention.

And as if on queue, most of the school screamed. In the triumph of the moment, James sailed easily to the ground; fist held aloft and joined his teammates in bestowing congratulations on each other.

Slytherin had lost. They had come so close to winning this year, if they had only beat Gryffindor today. And now Gryffindor would seize the Quidditch Cup, and for good measure, probably the House cup at the end of the year. The match had not lasted long – in half an hour's time Snape witnessed his dreams of Lily shatter forever….

She was running down the Gryffindor stands to join James and his league on the Quidditch field. It was taking Lily quite a long moment to reach him, as she had to fight through the dazed and bedazzled Gryffindors. As this happened Mulciber slumped on the bench, muttering something. Snape listened to hear his friend express his astonishment that the "Whore" had scored an astounding sixty points for her team!

Snape had had enough of Mary Macdonald. He skulked away to the end of the row. There in the shadows Snape stood. He had a perfect view of James and Lily, down below and just across the short width of the field.

Lily ran pell-mell towards James. As she approached the star seeker, James hands came out and he embraced her. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and then they kissed. At once the crowd roared it's approval for the two popular students to become a couple. But Severus was feeling worse than he ever had in his lifetime. It may have been a beautiful day but to Snape the moment felt like a thousand days of darkness.

James did not let go of Lily but kissed her inexorably, enjoying his audience more than getting to hold and snog Lily. Across the Quidditch pitch, Snape remained shrouded in the sidelines. He was in the shadows, away from the sun where nobody would care to notice.

Minus the angry Slytherins, the crowd was still cheering wildly for Gryffindor's victory, yet all Snape knew was loss. In the noon sun his figure was eclipsed in shadow, away from the sun and away from everyone. He felt more isolated and alone than ever.

He could drown in desire. He wanted to covet Lily as his own and nobody else's. Least of all James. But then a painful epiphany suddenly hit him. He must abandon that hope for Lily forever. The crowd evinced waves of joy amidst Snape's contrasting pools of sorrow. The distance between Lily and the rift in their estranged relationship felt like it could be across the universe itself.

Inwardly Snape struggled to remember those times he had watched Lily when they were little. He had had that same longing in the playground when she flew joyfully off the swing. Always. But now she would never be his. A lump formed in his throat. But then Snape focused on another thought that transformed him from cold sorrow to burning jealously. He wanted to jinx Potter for all he had done! Snape had found it within himself to blame James, thus distracting Snape from his deep sense of guilt. Afterall it had ended because he had called her Mudblood.

Snape imagined himself with Lily instead of seeing James with her. He tried to see himself possessing her like he had pretended to on the banks of the Black Lake the other day. If Lily could only have given in to the advances. And why had she willingly thrown herself on Potter just now? He saw himself lovingly caress her soft, rosy skin and bend down to kiss her. At least in the mind's eye he could consume every ounce of her, until he had her as his full possession.

But then Snape's fantasy was rudely interrupted by Mulciber's capriciousness. "That Evans is a proud Mudblood! How about we plan something else? Maybe this time, we'll share the goods?"

Mulciber looked at Snape hopefully. For if his friend wouldn't help him get Mary, maybe Mulciber could rape Lily instead. Snape was jolted out of his reverie and an animalistic tendency seized him.

A mighty force impacted Mulciber's broad chest and he toppled down the last row of the aisle. Snape kicked him and then jumped on top to overpower him. For such a thin even scrawny teenager, Snape was doing a hell of a job.

Mulciber was shocked by what Snape had done; he had meant it as a nice gesture, or a show of endorsement that they could stoop as low as Muggle-borns.

The two of them were rolling on the green field now, and the entire school watched the row, enraptured. The strong sunlight served well like a spotlight. Meanwhile the Gryffindor and Slytherin team was shaking hands on the match.

Snape was consumed by a rage. He wanted to pound and beat every inch of his friend. Again, and again Snape punched Mulciber, mostly hitting his skull and his stomach.

Switching tactics, Snape pulled out his wand to finish the job and hopefully humiliate his friend in front of the school. But then Mulciber gained leverage. Mulciber grabbed the collar of Snape's robes and with a mighty force swung him around.

He punched Snape in the eye, so that he would sport a black one too. "There. Now we're even. I guess. What the fuck was that for?"

Nobody but Snape could hear this conversation. It was too loud, as hundreds of people loudly speculated over what was going on between the two Slytherin Fifth-years.

"You're not getting anywhere near Lily!" Snape was ranting insanely, spit flying from his thin-lipped mouth. "Stay away from her. Go after Mary. I don't care. But don't you dare touch Lily!"

"Fine. If you feel so strongly against it. Though if I were such a despised pathetic sod like you, I'd forget about a worthless Mudblood!"

From his designated place at the top box Slughorn made his way down onto the field as fast as he could. Snape briefly looked up and saw Dumbledore watching, but it was impossible to tell in the sun's glare what the headmaster thought of the brawl.

Quickly the Head of Slytherin rushed over and as a placating move, put his pudgy arms around both boys' shoulders. He led Mulciber and Snape towards the nearest exit. "My dear boy's…Stop this. Let's go to my office and talk things over with words. Not wands!"

Both boys had equally sneering looks on their faces. Mulciber was trying to staunch the flow of blood from an abrasion on his skull from Snape's fist hitting over and over. He mopped his forehead.

As Snape was being led away he caught a glimpse of James and Lily further off, still together. He felt a desire to curse Potter again and get his revenge for everything, especially for today when James taunted him about the love potion fiasco.

From across the Quidditch pitch, Snape subtly pointed his wand between his robes where nobody would see. "Langlock!"

Abruptly James stopped talking. He had no idea how it happened that his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. But he saw Snape's slinking figure disappear off the pitch and thought he could wager a likely guess. The Half-blood Prince wore a small, sly grin on his face thinking that the specially invented spell should keep Potter's big, fat mouth shut for awhile.

The Potions Master complained; "Don't you lose your tempers like that again. It's bad enough you lot are put in detention with Dumbledore through end of term!"

And Slughorn never discovered that the fight was over a girl, as Snape and Mulciber successfully kept that out of the story. Meanwhile James never said anything about the jinx that day, for he knew he had no evidence it was Snape.

Dumbledore observed from his place above, almost like that of an omnipotent god. The music faded, drifting and rolling over the Scottish hillocks. The clamor of a thousand students, ceased to be heard by him. Dumbledore was alone in his thoughts observing it all and he envisioned the violent times. He knew that it would only get worse. The conflict between Voldemort's philosophy and his own would escalate. And these young people would be drawn into the fight, regardless of whatever side they chose. It would be like a thousand years ago: Slytherin versus Gryffindor all over again. The roaring crowd faded and died down as they left the pitch. It was like the lonesome sound of warriors, screaming and beating their drums. And as they departed, it faded away.

**  
NOTE: Now that this chapter is finished, the action starts to fall. The story is reaching the conclusion! Please review or rate. This is a very important scene and it is the reason I call it, "Across the Quidditch Pitch." **


	18. Dumbledore's Detentions

**Please review! Just to let my readers know there will be another Snape and Lily scene coming up…. And James isn't going to be too happy! So far it has been miserable all for Snape, but the tides will turn… Is there anybody else out there that would like to make a comment?! Don't forget there is always the rating button, too.**

Chapter Fifteen: Dumbledore's Detentions

Because even Headmaster Dumbledore wanted to see the match, Snape didn't have detention that Saturday until nightfall.

Dumbledore was busy working, humming cheerily to himself. Snape felt it was wise not to interrupt but wait for his presence to be acknowledged.

Until another moment passed and Snape cleared his throat.

"Ah, Severus…" said Dumbledore pleasantly, but he still held his controlled, soft timbre. "You have had quite a remarkable day already. Haven't you boy?"

"Er – Yes, sir. I did."

Dumbledore was still smiling. Snape remained solemn. He didn't find anything positive about today: slipping a love potion to a student and fighting another hardly qualified for a polite reception! Yet here was Dumbledore, not even disappointed in him?

Snape wished that Professor Dumbledore would show displeasure for his botched plans. Snape was deeply ashamed of what a bungler he had appeared as in the Great Hall this morning.

"I can understand completely your need to attack Mulciber….In fact your defence for the ones you love reminds me of my father."

"Wh-what? How so?"

"You see, Severus…My father always stood up for what was right. Kind of like you."

"I have never done anything good with myself. I-"

Before Snape could ramble on about his mistakes Dumbledore interrupted. "You're in denial of who you really are, Severus. But you are still quite young. Perhaps one day you will realize there is a better side to you."

"I do doubt it, sir," Snape almost sneered. "I haven't been taught to stand up for the sake of others. My father – Tobias – " Snape wavered, consumed with bitterness in regards to his muggle father. He continued disdainfully, "Tobias stands up for nothing! Nothing but himself."

Dumbledore wasn't oblivious to Snape's home life. He had visited on a few occasions to speak with Eileen when Snape was just a small child. It always left him feeling sad, but he knew there was nothing to be done.

"I can teach you to think differently Severus. With me you may choose a different path. But ultimately the choice always lies with you."

"I know I was wrong. It was against the rules to use those tactics, sir. I shouldn't have tried giving Lily Evans the Amortentia! I was – an idiot."

"I am aware of that as well," said Dumbledore heavily. "But being both young and in love can make one act unusual sometimes."

Snape waited nervously, expecting to be condemned for sure. He could not understand why Dumbledore so far bestowed nothing but commendations.

A throaty low chuckle escaped from Dumbledore, and his pupil's head shot up sharply. Snape was dumbfounded that the headmaster of Hogwarts was finding this funny.

Unconsciously Snape rubbed the back of his robes. He was expecting to be punished after Dumbledore had his laugh. The dreaded use of the cane should surely be implemented for fighting and making an illicit potion, and worse trying to give it to another student. Fuming at himself, Snape became aware of what he was doing, and stopped rubbing his backside. It was still slightly sore from getting caned a couple of weeks ago.

"You are not in trouble with me for today's events. And I shall be relaxing the rule about love potions for this situation." And then Dumbledore bluntly stated, "You suffered enough."

"I wouldn't care, sir," said Snape despondently. It was truly how he felt. Things were so awful by this point that perhaps the justice of getting beaten for his actions could clear them.

But Dumbledore did not believe this was the remedy for this particular incident. Not this time. "No, Severus. I think that becoming an outcast by the few who call you their friend, however false they are is punishment enough. Furthermore to be refused affection from someone you love is also punishment enough."

Snape nodded dully, his face reddening slightly at the thought that Dumbledore knew he loved Lily. But suddenly his head snapped up with the keen spark of curiosity. "But sir – what happened to your father?"

Dumbledore refused to elaborate. "It is a long story. Perhaps I shall tell you it another time."

Snape still was intrigued but didn't press the professor any further. And Dumbledore didn't want to share the tragedy of what happened to Ariana. Dumbledore himself wasn't ready. He preferred to keep it buried in the past…just like Ariana who rested at peace under the ground, finally safe. Safe in her grave beside their mother, Kendra. He must be at peace with his past.

Dumbledore's thoughts strayed to his sister and his family, remembering what a selfish young man he once was during his years as a Hogwarts pupil. His father had shown great courage, tracking down the muggle boys that raped Albus's sister. She had been so young, and delicate. Only six-years-old at the time she was sodomized.

Cold, cold and lifeless. Ariana at the tender age of fourteen dead on the floor. Tears came to Dumbledore's blue eyes.

Embarrassed, Snape turned his head sideways; wishing the floor would open up and swallow him. Dumbledore was still recalling his sister's untimely death. The thought of being the perpetrator of the use of the Killing Curse on his poor sister greatly rattled his conscience.

But Dumbledore would not tell the tale today. Quickly Dumbledore decided to change the subject. Dumbledore couldn't bear to remember it. He never wanted to know if it was himself who had killed her. Deep in his heart he knew he had cast the fatal spell.

"Now I am aware that you and your friends met Lord Voldemort one evening."

"Yes, sir," murmured Snape guiltily.

"Had I discovered this before it occurred I would have stopped it, of course. But I did not."

"How did you find out?"

"Not all your friends are such astute Occlumens like yourself."

Snape nodded with comprehension and inwardly seethed that it was probably Mulciber that Dumbledore performed Legilimency on. Of course it was just as likely it was Regulus or Avery.

"So Severus….Have you made up with Mr. Muciber?"

"For the row, sir?" Snape said blankly. However Snape had the distinct impression Dumbledore knew there was more to their bickering. That the fight today had been festering for awhile. There were quite a lot of reasons he had a bone or two to pick with his friend.

"And more. I understand the reasons for fighting Mr. Mulciber. You fought him because he said he wanted to rape your Lily."

Snape shook palpably. Dumbledore had said this so clearly and it startled Snape, because he realized it was absolutely true.

"Yes. I know pretty much everything that went on with you. I am also aware…" Dumbledore stalled for effect, and leaned closer in his chair, towards Snape. "I am aware you met Lord Voldemort the other night. What did you think?"

Snape was stunned that Dumbledore was asking for his opinion when he should be sharply chastising him for leaving the grounds. "I- I thought he was an extraordinary wizard."

"Yes. In fact – Voldemort – may indeed rival myself. In fact, I am certain of it."

Snape looked nervous. Immediately he offered his objections. "I don't believe so. He is not so advanced that he could best you in a duel, professor."

Dumbledore smiled skeptically but said nothing. Fawkes meanwhile issued a sudden small cry.

"Now Severus, can you do me a favour, one of great import?"

"I hope so. What is that you want me to do?"

"Give me the memory of the night you met him in the Forbidden forest. Give me the memory and you will be forgiven for the many disruptions you've caused at my school today."

The boy relented unfalteringly. "Of course, sir." Yet his hands shook as he went to his sweaty brow. He wasn't doing it just to avoid being punished. On some level Severus was Dumbledore's man through and through, even then.

Like the figment of a spider's web, a pearl blue strand extracted from his temple. The strand coiled around Snape's wand.

Dumbledore rose hastily and bustled over to another cabinet. He returned quickly with an empty glass tube to collect. Within moments the memory was safely encapsulated.

"This is very valuable to me. And what is even more valuable – what is indispensable is your trust. I would not want to lose it, especially as a time might come when I will need it. Lord Voldemort is growing increasingly autonomous."

Snape watched Dumbledore return to the cabinet and peered curiously over Dumbledore's shoulder. Inside was dozens and dozens of the same little glass vials.

All of them had names and dates on them. All of them were apparently about Voldemort. Snape watched Dumbledore label his memory: 'Voldemort '76.

"Now, Severus….Whilst I go inside your memory, you will sit and write an apology for the trouble you caused. Then those particular grievances against you shall be forgotten."

So Snape sat and wrote an apology to his headmaster. Meanwhile, Dumbledore hurried to pour the memory into a stone basin. The tall wizard stood over the fixture. It emitted a soft blue effulgence and there was ancient runes carved into it.

Dumbledore bowed low over the pensieve, approaching the mass. Like spiral galaxies, the memories swirled and rotated. Quick as a flash, he disappeared from this moment in time and into the memory of Lord Voldemort. Snape's first time ever meeting him.

It wasn't until an hour later that Dumbledore returned to the present.

With great agility for such an old man, Dumbledore swiftly landed on his feet. "Thank-you, Severus. That memory proves a few things for me."

"I was glad to do it, sir," said Snape tensely. And he dared ask, for Snape was too inquisitive to refrain. "What things?"

Dumbledore's face turned dark. Snape felt an inexplicable crinkle shoot up his spine, like a flame. Judging from the look on his professor's face, Snape was almost frightened by the emotion Dumbledore evinced suddenly. The room fluctuated suddenly getting very hot.

"The memory confirms to me why he recruits so many. I never had the privilege to see a discreet Death Eater meeting since he's left school.

"He is a highly dangerous Dark wizard. Perhaps he will prove to be the worst Dark wizard in all magical history."

"But why is he dangerous, sir?" said Snape. "Is it his control of the Dark Arts – or rather the Dark Lord's mastery?"

"That is part of it. Yes. However there's more to it than that. Things are looking far worse. What makes Voldemort so dangerous isn't his magic but his skills at persuasion. The memory has shown me – even if only an inkling of evidence – he is a wizard with strong convictions as well as being very charismatic. And when people – like him possess both these qualities they are always dangerous. Yes, he is a threat. To all our lives, I'm afraid."

Later that evening, the first of Snape's many detentions with Dumbledore ended.

Snape's ink-stained hands turned the brass doorknob.

"Oh and Severus?"

"Yes, headmaster?"

"Do not forget to tell Mr. Mulciber detentions start Tuesday evening at eight o'clock for him."

Snape assented, feeling a sense of great fealty overcome him, "I will."

Dumbledore looked after the retreating boy. The headmaster thought these detentions would serve as the perfect way to oversee the boys' activities closely and ensure they would never meet Voldemort again while students of his school.

Dumbledore rose from his desk to go off to bed in his chambers upstairs. And Fawkes was safe, already asleep on his perch, his crimson head resting cozily beneath his wings.

The next detentions that followed had Snape and Dumbledore sharing lengthy discourse about Snape's actions. In addition, Dumbledore put him at more line-writing again. He hoped this would be the seed, the germination of more lofty goals that would keep Snape away from darkness.

Two weeks later Snape was in Saturday detention again. Dumbledore watched Snape twitch and fidget in his seat until Dumbledore couldn't stand to watch it any longer. Somehow Dumbledore knew what the boy needed, even though he couldn't see inside the talented boy's mind, as he was such a natural Occlumens. There was something Snape needed to discover on his own, something he decided to do tonight and Dumbledore guessed correctly. It wasn't hard to do, for over the preceding detentions Dumbledore understood Snape's desires.

"Severus, I shall grant you an early dismissal tonight. You are free to go wherever your heart takes you in the castle."

Snape rose rigidly with a startled expression and looked at his teacher closely. To Severus, Dumbledore suddenly looked old. Really old. And tired. Perhaps Dumbledore needed to be alone and rest?

"Thank-you. Good night, sir."

Snape left the headmaster's private study. Dumbledore watched him go with a knowing gleam in his bright blue eyes. He knew the school dance was tonight. It was a cotillion. And that was precisely where Snape was going just as Dumbledore guessed…

**NOTE: The memory Snape gives Dumbledore is actually in the Half-blood Prince movie. If you look at the vials Dumbledore has, one of them says "Voldemort '76". This is the exact year Snape was in Fifth year and in which he meets Voldemort for the first time, at least as told here. Actually, I got the idea from the movie to include this. Also, Dumbledore did not tell Snape about Ariana, (Dumbledore's greatest regret). Years later when they are full-fledged equals as "Friends" and "colleagues" Dumbledore would have probably told Snape when Dumbledore put the Peverell ring on because of the stone, and Snape saved him. He would owe him that explanation don't you think? That is actually an interesting idea for a short fic. Although the account of when Snape saved Dumbledore from the curse has already been tried many times by other writers. Anyway, please review. Or rate. Only one update left!**


	19. Epilogue: School Dance

**Please Review! This is the final update and completes my novella, "Across the Quidditch Pitch!" Hooray. It was almost a year ago that I thought of this fic. Please review!**

**Epilogue: School Dance  
**

Melodious music drifted out the Great Hall. It was a sweet harmony of piano with strings, a gay ballad, matching the student body's general content. The cotillion was a success for those deserving older students in good standing.

There was Mary Macdonald and Sirius Black waltzing across the room, the happiest couple of them all. But theirs would wind up as a short-lived relationship. But Mary had triumphed over Mulciber. She was never hurt and got the boy she wanted.

Sirius's barking laughter echoed around the hall as Mary and he caroused across the dance platform, the other dancers giving them a wide berth out of fear of physical injury. Mary and Sirius held hands, whilst Sirius' other hand lightly touched her hip, and she kept balance by leaning into his shoulder.

And then there was another couple starkly evident: the blonde Pureblood boy Avery. He had gotten a date for the dance and looked to be enjoying himself.

James and Lily were in the epicenter of things and hard to spot with all the others surrounding them. They were the most popular couple of the evening. All sought conversation with them.

The couple swayed slowly, together in tandem to the tunes emanating from the band. Lily's hands rested at the back of James's neck, as she craned her neck slightly to gaze into his eyes. And James gazed into her green eyes, his face aglow. James's hands held the small of Lily's back and he was grinning widely.

Nobody spotted the pair of black eyes peeping out of the rich red-velvet curtains, curtains that replaced the Great Hall's doors. The curtains separated Snape from all of them, but it was the perfect place to watch.

All Snape had eyes for now was James and Lily. He couldn't see Lily's face, only the back of her. A sheath of flaming red hair. He longed to lovingly caress that hair, even though it was slightly frizzy. Lily's backside was in tight, form-fitting dressrobes that showed her voluptuous curves. Her dance movements were tiny but lithe. It enraged Severus to see James's hands holding her. And then to see James's face, alight with obvious excitement. Snape would rather die than forgive James.

He could feel the very music vibrating within his veins. He was drawn to this party and planned to gatecrash. He knew he could tell Slughorn the headmaster gave him permission even if that wasn't exactly true. He watched with the greatest longing and desperation. It was similar to how he first spied on Lily through the bushes in the playground all those years ago….

And now the song ended. There was a pause before the live band took up another song. Lily unlinked her hands from James's shoulders. Snape greedily watched those pale-pink lips move. She was saying something to Potter.

He responded right away. Lily answered again. Snape almost flinched when Lily kissed him on the cheek.

But Lily had meant it as a good-bye. Flightily she stole away from her date. James went after her at once, dogged with determination. There was no chance that James could simply give up on her.

Snape kept smiling, that nasty smile of his, the thin lips curled over with satisfaction. 'It's all contingent on Lily leaving him,' Snape thought. For even Snape knew it wasn't possible for James Potter to quit at anything.

Snape hoped desperately Lily would leave the party and leave her date in the cold.

James finally left Lily alone, albeit if only temporarily. Looking exhausted from dancing with James, Lily went to sit at the deserted buffet.

Snape was about to move in and make his entrance to talk to Lily. But immediately a group of girls were swarming around her. Most of them just wanted to talk to her and had no idea what went on with James.

Snape watched her false, cheery smiles. It was difficult for Lily to wear a smile after fighting with James. Snape felt some pity for her here.

The girls went away and at once Snape pushed his way across the dance floor. Lily saw his tall, lank profile coming over to her and the green eyes widened in shock. Snape was relieved to see her at least attempt a smile.

But then she noticed Snape's hands holding a bouquet of red roses. She frowned. Snape had indeed conjured them in the hallway before. And now Lily was startled, and looked at the boy as if he was a freak. Some kind of weird-do, like what Tuney thought of all magic-folk.

Snape went to sit beside her at the empty buffet table.

Lily wouldn't look at him. Instead she was staring at the mountains of spinach casserole. "I thought you were in detention," began Lily with disgust.

"Dumbledore let me off early tonight." Snape tried his best to keep his voice calm, and friendly, ignoring Lily's snide tone.

Snape's hands tightened over the thorny stems, not caring if he cut himself. She would have to wait to receive her flowers. Firstly he had a score to settle with Lily. He must find out what was up between her and that James Potter.

Snape tried his best to keep the hurt out of his voice but the pain showed nevertheless. Snape placed his hands tinged with blood on the tabletop, making her think it was the thorns that made the pain in voice. "Why are you dating James?!" It burst out in spite of himself.

"For your information Snape, I'm not going out with the toerag. It's just a one-time date."

Snape's face softened slightly to hear her say she didn't want to have an ongoing relationship with him. Yet then his disposition turned sour with jealously. "You still kissed him though. You kissed James Potter! I saw you."

"Grow up, Severus. It was only on the cheek."

Snape couldn't believe his ears to hear his sweet Lily giving him an attitude.

"Why did you kiss him though?" Snape probed unrelentingly.

Lily's green eyes screwed up with annoyance at the hard questions. "I dunno. It was just an act. The kissing satisfied him so that when I told him I needed to be alone it worked!"

Snape nodded. He liked hearing this. So she hadn't really wanted to kiss him afterall. This was good news at least.

Lily drummed her fingers monotonously, elbows on the table. She looked around and wished to find someone else to talk to.

She commented, "This dance doesn't mean a thing for me and James. Okay?"

"Good. Then here - take these flowers I conjured. They're specially for you, Lily."

"No. I can't take them, Severus."

"Lily please. Just take them anyway. Nobody has to know that they're from me."

"I won't!"

"You won't?" sneered Snape nastily. All the worst of his character was suddenly coming out. "Lily if you were my girlfriend you would show me more respect!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I'm never going out with you either, same as James. Go away Snape!"

Snape bolted from his seat, making his escape across the dance floor. And then he vanished from view. Huddled alone against the red-velvet curtain with tears streaming down his cheeks. He finally understood that he would never be seeing Lily Evans, courting her or even be friends again. He was to be a Death Eater, enslaved to a higher evil.

More tears streamed down his cheeks and slipped like tiny puddles onto the floor. He saw himself alone on Spinner's End in his bedroom making flies fall from the ceiling. He saw the memory of James hanging him from the beech tree. And finally, the memories of Lily rejecting him by the portrait hole. He would always be alone. His whole life he was a loner. It simply was a fact of life, part of his identity. It made him desire to be a Death Eater more than ever. Lucius, Voldemort and all the others would finally embrace him.

James went over to reprise his role as Lily's date. But Severus did not see any of this. James tried to speak to Lily, who refused. Lily was upset too, she knew she had hurt her ex-friend. She hadn't really wanted to say it that way but she got mad.

"James – get away from me. I'm off to bed."

Desperately James grabbed her hand and spun her around. His hands lightly touched her face and he started to kiss her. Lily threw off his advances, and beat her fist against his chest, sobbing. James's face morped into amazement, thinking his kisses had made her cry. He was disturbed and greatly upset by this.

Lily ran through the staff room, running as fast as her high-heels could propel her. She went through the short hallway passage and then up the stairs towards Gryffindor tower.

James finally left Lily alone. He knew not to pursue her any further. Instead he went to sit with Wormtail who wasn't enjoying the dance either, as his date had ditched him too.

And Snape meanwhile had gone to the halls surrounding the courtyard nearby. He was still crying silently. In defeat Snape fell to his knees, which impacted the hard cracked flagstones painfully. The bouquet of roses swept to the floor in front of him, where they lay fallen.

Snape dug his hands into his face, pitifully. He'd never acted like this before and it scared him. He couldn't stop. Luckily nobody was here to see him at his weakest moment, alone in the shadowy darkness.

And the music drifted down the corridor, Snape could still hear the faint tunes. A song of happier times that would soon end. He thought of all the dancers in the Great Hall, tiny against the backdrop of the upcoming war against Voldemort's proponents. Most of them probably wouldn't choose to support the Dark Lord – Snape knew now Lily wouldn't. She would be obliterated then. He feared for her life as he knew it might be taken. And all of them would die – those tiny dancers, oblivious to the growing threat against their lives….

And the great magical disco ball shined light onto the dancers. Each person on the dance floor had a star as his or her shadow. Sirius and Mary were the happiest couple, even if a fleeting relationship in the end, but now they were snogging innocently in the corner. There was still many halcyon days to enjoy before the war….

**NOTE: The story is complete! Please review and tell me what you thought of Across the Quidditch Pitch as a whole. Please? Or at least rate.**


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